I'm too lazy to resubmit and I didn't use the URL option, but if you read this and want to see how it changed in the rewrite click the link below. And, yes, I changed the ending.  And the beginning, and about 90% of what was in between.

Specialized Cell Required Final Draft

Dethan

oooooo another zombie story, just finished Mike's, now this one, I liked how both of you found a different angle at the zombie genre, it shows there is always a way to bring something new to the table.

I liked the story, and the idea is cool, but I did feel some of the Doctor's dialogue felt off to me, just seemed weird for some reason.

Anyways this was a good read with a neat idea.  Good work

Thanks for the Read. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Did you read the revised version or the original? Just curious because I changed most of the Doctor's dialog and want to know if it needs a bit more work.

Dethan

creepy

That or they think it is an appropriate review.  I'll take it as a possitive!  It was made to be creepy.

Anyway, take a look at the new version.  They're probably different enough to keep your interest through a re-read. Thanks,

Dethan

Quoted from Dethan That or they think it is an appropriate review.  I'll take it as a possitive!  It was made to be creepy. Anyway, take a look at the new version.  They're probably different enough to keep your interest through a re-read. Thanks, Dethan

LOL! yeah, there's plenty of review here for CELL and I'm not one for beating a dead horse, or a live one for that matter, and I don't think Zack would care either way. You did well enough for me to sum it up in one word.

Quoted from randyshea creepy

Yeah, this would have been deleted -- but too late now that everybody has commented on it haha.

Quoted from Rules 9. Respond with more than just one or two words.

Not the worst transgression I've ever seen, but please check out Don's Rules, Randy.  A convenient link at the top of every board, I think.

Quoted from bert Yeah, this would have been deleted -- but too late now that everybody has commented on it haha. Not the worst transgression I've ever seen, but please check out Don's Rules, Randy.  A convenient link at the top of every board, I think.

Roger that, Bert. I'm one of those guys who puts the swing set together without reading the instructions and ends up with 47 parts left over.

Do we need to know that there’s a tv attached to a wall and a chair? I think it’s a little unnecessary. Why not just leave it to empty room.

Doctor West says who he is twice.

I thought the reveal of Zach eating the nurse and the peeling of the skin was really creepy stuff.

I think it would be more helpful to get a better description of the Prisoner. You don’t even describe his age.

I’m not sure if I get the ending. It just sort of ends rushed. I’m interested to know more and I think more questions should be answered. This is something I definitely think should be lengthened.

And just as a suggestion, maybe we could see a flashback of the accident?

Good Luck

Quoted from TAnthony Do we need to know that there’s a tv attached to a wall and a chair? I think it’s a little unnecessary. Why not just leave it to empty room. Doctor West says who he is twice.

You must have read the old draft. Both of those were fixed in the rewrite.

Added on a different ending, but it still ends as a cliff hanger.

If I decide to write this as a feature I'll probably cut all the flashbacks and start when he gets notified he has to go to Afghanistan. Then the accident, then the hospital, death/deaths, etc.

Thanks for the reads.  I appreciate your comments.

Dethan

Sorry Dethan I didn't even realize that. I'll try and read the new draft.

Not a problem Anthony.  Get to it when you have time.  No hurry.  Read a few others then go back to it with new eyes.

Dethan

Dethan,
A few comments on your story.

First, Most cells in your body are not rejuvinated "every seven years" as you state. Each system(nervous, GI, cardiac, etc.) utilizes different ways and reasons for rejuvination/re-establishment of cell populations. For example, the GI tract loses and replaces its mucosal cells every seven days or so regardless. Most other tissues only renew themselves when an injury or loss has occured or some other special need is manifested. For example, fat cells will increase in size and number in response to overabundance of glucose. But, they are not replace "every seven years" arbitrarily. If this were the case we would not age.

Sorry, another thing. About stem cells. They are not just found in embryos and  special creatures. Some systems in you body have a stem cell line somewhere within them. Some are a little more differentiated than others. Again, going back to gut cells. Those cells are gut stem cells. They can only potentiate themselves into gut cells. They are one or two cell lines away from the embryo stem cells. Your liver is one of the best at responding to injury. You can remove over half of your liver and it will be back to the original size within weeks.

One of the goals in stem cell research is to tease these endogenous(from your own body) cells into becoming active again via chemical signals(ie: neuronal stem cells). Your body has the information, we're just trying to work out how to get it and turn it on. They've tried using stem cells from an external source with little success. Anyways, sorry for the biology lesson. I would just change that piece of dialgue where the doctor is explaining to something like:

"We've mutated your stem cell line, turned it on so that it responds quickly to stress or damage. Any injury that you aquire is fixed by these continuously dividing cells. Your body is a cancer, an immortal stem cell line. But a fully functional one."

or something to that effect.

Besides this i thought the story was pretty good.

Joseph

Thanks for the read Joseph.

And for the alternative, medically correct, line of dialog.  If I do a rewrite I'll keep what you said in mind.

Dethan