Hello Naomi  - It's pronounced sort of like 'own' or 'Oh' with an 'n' sound attached. The Anglican way of spelling it is Owen. I use the Gaelic spelling Eoin or to be more correct Eoghan.

Thanks for the read. I explained to Ray above about MOE. It's purely fictional.

Ah, the handcuffs. He's happy to let them assume he's undercover cop who's just busted their little scam. Cleaver talks about 'taking them in' and asking for ID when they are in the woods. Not very clear then.

Ok just finished this. Not bad at all. However I do agree with those that say you can see whats going to happen pretty early on. Not that its a bad thing actually, but I just could. I also like the idea of leaving "things open", gives the reader a bit of mystery IMO.

Hello Hugh - thanks for taking the time to read this. the comments and feedback are much appreciated.

I am from the states, and generally liked the writing style. There were a couple of words or expressions I would have been unsure of, but could gather their meaning from the context. Overall the writing was clear, flowed well, entertained.

There was an exception though:

"Sorry, I’m out of pink."

I have absolutely no idea what that means. I don't know if it's UK, or just something I should understand but don't.

And it came on the heels of something else I didn't understand. That was Darla handcuffing herself. I don't get that at all. Stranger throws her cuffs and she just puts them on?

The two of these things coming together at the same moment raised my blood pressure. I hate it when I don't understand something. I am sure the fault in this lack of understanding is on my end, but it really took the pleasure out of a good story for me.

A last question would be why Stranger cut Billy's rope? Was it the thrill of chasing him down?

In general, the story was very good. It had a style and a mood, which I think is important and can be hard to capture. It's a common theme, the thrill seeking youth on the other side of the law, but it's a theme that never really gets old.

One little note to you UK folk, who don't get to drive as much(my inlaws are British, my family has Irish roots and relatives, so I know): 40 mph is slow, 50 mph is not fast. The only thing in the US going that slow is a farmer in his tractor! Gotta bump the speeds up a little!

Last note to Eoin: this was not really the format I needed for the car chase I was looking to describe. But I enjoyed the read.

Mr Lenihan!

I wouldn't have even known you read and posted a reply to this except I changed my signature and embedded links to my scripts.

Firstly, thanks for the read, much appreciated - sorry the chase scene wasn't what you were after. In terms of speed, the reason I chose such relatively slow speeds would be pretty obvious if you ever drove a back road in Ireland! I also needed to make the speed filmable, plus they're not set in stone, they would probably be edited post production to seem quicker etc.

Okay - to address the problem you had while reading. Darla cuffs herself when she sees how easily The Stranger deals with Billy and Clever. She's submissive and wouldn't even dream of taking him on, hence her compliance. Darla's dress and demeanour are very reflective of who is she, easily cohersed and along for the ride.

As for the 'I'm all out of pink' that's a reference to the handcuffs, he's all out of pink girly handcuffs. He says that as he tosses the handcuffs to her, ya dig?

That's exactly why The Stranger cuts the rope - the thrill of the chase - the terror - teasing them with a taste of apparent freedom only to hunt them down.

Unfortunately, never been to Ireland. My grandparents were born there. The family farm is on the corner of Cork, Killarney, and I think Kerry. Someday!

I was teasing about the speeds.

I knew where you were going with Darla cuffing herself, her submissiveness, I just couldn't quite buy it as it is. BUT, it wouldn't take much more for me to buy it. A little more intimidation or a threat from Stranger.

I get the pink now! I thought it was some kind of slang we don't know in the States.

Ok cool, thanks for the replies to my questions. Nice work!

Eoin,

I wanted to give something of yours a read since you gave me a few comments on my Dark Speed script.

I realize you were just writing something you could maybe act in, and that this work is from a few years ago, but I liked it.  It read fast, kept my attention, and is something I could see being on an episode of Tales from the Darkside, or something else like that if you just made it a little longer.

The "maps of Europe" thing stood out to me and I thought it was a nice touch because I at least have never heard of the phrase.

Cheers!

-Kenneth Abbott Jr.

Hi Kenneth,

I appreciate the read and I'm very glad you're participating on the site. No need to feel obligated to read anything of mine, as long as you read and interact with the community at large, you'll learn, make friends and have fun too.

This was the first script I wrote ~ hope I've learned more since!

Kind Regards

Eoin