I'm a beginner at this, but this was one of my favorites I've read as far as being a short. At first, I didn't like all the narrator V.O but I can visualize how this would look on screen. This would be low budget and it has such an artsy appeal. As someone said before, it read almost like poetry.
I found one error: The Engineered is now stunned...prolly meant Engineer. The camera shots and angles didn't bother me in this short because it helped me visualize what you wanted the reader to see.
Great work IMO. |