Agnes has been filmed:

Agnes from Jason Lyle Garrett on Vimeo.

Congrats Austin,

They did a nice job making the video. I thought the old lady was good and the kid did well acting for the first time. All around very exciting for you and best of luck with future scripts. - Dirk

Hey Austin,

So you are ABSteel here!
Nice movie, congrats! Good luck with the festivals!

Austin (ABs of Steel) Bennett!

It's about time!

Agnes to be filmed! is probably the oldest thread on MP!  

Great job!!  The directing was slow and deliberate.  Really set the mood nicely.

Cinematography was beautiful.  And the music!!!  

This house was awesome.  

$100 to mow her lawn?  Where does she live?

Congrats, man...

Austin, congrats on a great looking film.

It was well shot and the classical soundtrack fits nicely. Unfortunately, I have no idea WTF this was supposed to be about.

James

Congrats Austin!!!

Great work!!! I thought it moved a little slow in the beginning. Some tighter editing would work, IMHO. Other than that, feel proud!!  

Congratulations Austin!!

Along the same lines as what Pia said, I thought we stayed too long on some shots, but I like the basic style of the director. And I liked the story.

Good job!!

Thanks guys! Sounds like this director has a somewhat good reputation in the festival circuit, and he's said that AGNES is a departure from his usual work. I'm excited to see what'll happen.

I thought he could've cut out a few of the early shots and introduced Agnes earlier.

After watching it a few times, I miss the exchange at the end. In my original script, Agnes tells Danny that she'll look forward to seeing him again, knowing full well that he stole, and may steal, again.

I'm very proud of it though. Nothing against my other two produced scripts, but this one is my favorite. And it's so much better than mine!

Congrats on getting this one filmed Austin. Quite liked this.

Thought the cinematography was great!

Going to echo what others have said about the opening, though. If these were opening credits rather than just a couple of still-shots, it would have made a lot more sense, IMO.

The music was great! Suited the story well, but the film seemed to be more about the music than the actual story at hand. It was like the director has gone out of his way to get the music out there... It's louder than the dialogue itself, which doesn't ring right with me. JMHO.

Otherwise, this is great. The idea of a lonely woman who pays Danny despite the fact she knows he has taken something... Interesting to say the least.

Congrats on getting it filmed.

Congrats on getting this filmed.

I have to agree with Pia and Breanne about the time on certain shots.

I wasn't sure if the kid had taken the money or not until I read the posts here.

It would have been a nice addition if the woman were to say something like: Please let me feed you. It's not often that I have company... or something like that.

It would have been nice to see the kid squirm and maybe leave the money on the table that he had taken from her purse after realizing that he was wrong.

Cindy

Nice music. Really establishes the atmosphere. I don't agree with the others and I think those beginning shots of the house are extremely well placed.

Hey Austin, since the discussion turned to the film, I'll comment on that, then the script.

First off: Congrats on getting it shot and made.

I realize it's a school project, which is why, to me it feels like one.  

I believe I get why the various long opening shots of the house. To create an empty, lonely atmosphere.... However this takes up almost 2 minutes of a 8 min short, it felt like we needed credits here. Imagine writing two full pages of this in your script. It's kinda the same thing.  I'm all for slow pacing in editing, but it needs to build up to something.

I get the first title card, the title of the film. But  the second title card wasn't needed, it adds unnecessary time to the film.

I love the music, the short  has a silent film air about it, but then we are visually denied key elements, like taking the money. Both times.

The actors were not strong enough to relate all that you wanted to say through performance and facial expression alone.

I felt if I hadn't read your script first I would not know what is going on.  

The very little dialogue that made the final cut, I had a hard time hearing and understanding.
even with my headphones.

Also there was a pan on the stairs, it really bothered me that it starts to pan then cuts abruptly midway. Why? I'm thinking it was going to pan to something but the shot was too long and was cut maybe?

--- okay, so these are my issues with the film adaptation of your script ---  

It's great you got it made, I hope you had a chance to be apart of the filming process, its a great experience, especially on small films.

I feel I'm being negative here, and I don't like that, so what I liked about the film:

Good music, great location, casting of older woman was good, she has a great presence in the last shot. I Actually like the last shot all together. The old house the cats Agnes going back into her lonely home. I cant tell from the shot but I'm assuming the lawn is well manicured. The low angle camera shot of Danny and Agnes holding out the money.

But again I did not think your script's main and key elements translated into the current cut I just watched.  It had a depressing mood yes, but I think it missed the desperation of the old woman and the guilty conscious of the kid. Therefor I kinda liked your script more, because I got more from it.

I don't know how much you were involved with filming process, and since the director is not on here, I think I've said enough about the film.

The script it self: I assumed it was a shooting script, so I didn't care about the scene numbers.
I like the story, but I think it could have gone a little further,  a little deeper. I would like to have seen Danny get something more from Agnes, other than just an extra 40 bucks. Agnes gets his company but It would be nice if the boy gets something deeper, a nugget of wisdom, an insight to the meaning of life. I suppose he learns, stealing kinda make you feel bad, but really in the end he gets away with it. "Okay as long as I show up I can abuse her by stealing money from her" I mean the kid better have some witty banter and charm in his personality arsenal to let her turn a blind eye I have a feeling you were going for a more positive ending but its only partially positive and so falls a little flat.

All that being said, I like your script, I think the film could have done it better justice.  

But get more made brother, get your idea's out there on the silver screen

Best, Kev

I wasn't involved in the shooting process at all. I agree that the opening shots are too long and they should've left the lines at the end. The second title card is unnecessary and the music is too loud.

Thanks for reading and watching.