Hey!

That was fun.
A nice idea and fun to read really.

I wonder if you could cut on some of the dialog and some of the action. Especially towards the end. The idea is there, I noticed if I just skim it - it's obvious what's going on, so you don't need that much description - I'm talking about the part where he sleeps on his desk, then wakes up, sees the DreamWorks logo, discovers Harrison...

Some dialog could be shortened perhaps:
"I remember the address - you're only two blocks away from me. I never do that, but if you want to swing by you may."
as opposed to "Y'know, I remember your address on the form you filled out. You're only a couple of blocks from me in La Mirada. Normally we don't encourage this type of contact but you're close so do you want to swing by?"
And maybe not like this - I'm not good with dialog at all, but feels to me that piece could be shortened.
And I think somewhere at the very beginnign of their conversation Doug needs to say that he likes Alex' script very much before he invites him in - to sound believable.

Nice script, funny!

Interesting read... A bit too much of an inside joke for me though.

I like the idea, but you could have taken the idea a step further IMO...

Making Alex someone who wrote a Zombie script, then is forced to write coverage on Zombie Scripts (perhaps cause it's half off all Zombie script coverage) to the point where he ends up looking like a Zombie himself (typing away, his mouth agape, moaning and groaning like a Zombie)... then finds the one script that is treasured, his reward and freedom then runs in to the next guy who thanks him for his coverage on his Zombie script and then the punch line - "Hey you wanna a Dr. Pepper", I'm paraphrasing I think.

I like all the titles, I think there needed to be a Zombies of the Middle East somewhere in there Or Indiana Jones and the Mummy Zombies.... Heck get some of the horror fans on here to contribute fun Zombie titles... I'm getting carried away here... only 9 more months til halloween

Well despite the fact I can't identify with what's going on in the script it was still a joyful read. And my thoughts above might very well be all sh*t.

Good job

Best,
Kev

Coop, and everyone else that has been taking part in the �over-writer� thread, I�m glad you�ve checked out a script I�ve posted so I could say: �SEE WHAT I MEAN!�

I know how to write but knowing how to write scripts is a whole different thing. Regardless of previous experience, I realize I'm on the low end of the learning curve.

So yes, Khamamania, there�s all sorts of stuff I can cut. Thanks for the kind words and suggestions.

Kev, your suggestions on Zombie titles sound like marketable ideas. I tried to think of the stupidest names possible. You probably should start drafting a script based one of the ones you had. Strike while the iron is hot. The Middle East conflict with Zombies thrown in�or U.S. forces accidently tap into something in Iraq or Afghanistan that unleashes and army of undead�I am there! I read World War Z a couple of months ago (the book not the script) and the Middle East is mentioned early but for various reasons that part of the world is out of the fight for most of the book. Someone that knows what they�re doing should turn out these ideas.

If I was really good at this, Alex would have written a script like that for this story and his complete script would be linked within The Reader script. That�s the graduate-level stuff, I think. I�m still in pre-school.

Ed

This was an amusing little piece. I won’t harp on about the clunky writing like I did on your last short as you say you’ve taken heed. Needless to say, this can do with tightening as well.

Concept-wise though, it’s an innovative twist on the kidnapping sub-genre, I don’t want to give you a swelled head (presuming you're a fan, everyone is after all) but it comes off as something the Coen Brothers would dream up.

I loved the rip on the ubiquity of zombie scripts, they must be the bane of every script reader’s existence!

Logically and practically, holes can be picked in it. For example: the likelihood of Doug living near Alex so he can call over. However, this could be easily fixed by having Doug ring Alex instead saying how he really liked the script, saw that he lived nearby…then the story unfolds how you’ve written it. It could be implied that Doug, when seeing his address, lavished on the praise in his coverage as to warrant the phone call for a further chat.

It goes in tandem with the absurd nature of the script but I found it funny how readily Alex resigns to the bizarre situation he found himself in. After some weak, half as?ed objections, “No way(s)” and “Are you kidding(s)” he dutifully goes about doing the task allotted to him. I realise you didn’t want to go down the torture porn route a that’s been so overplayed so this was a welcome refreshing spoof of the sub-genre.

Again, Alex’s decision to pick up the gauntlet for the vacated Doug is madness and defies plausibility given the tortuous ordeal Alex has been through but it also works in the context of the script’s tone and story.

Good work with this, Ed. At least on the basis of this and “Can’t See a Thing” you’ve got a flair for interesting, paths-less-ventured story ideas plus this one had a satisfying ending.

Col.

Hi Ed,

Going to jump straight into commenting on the story.

It started out for me a drama, like ALEX was going to get hurt, then developed into a smart comedy. The ending made me chuckle. Was both excited and hesitant at first to read a script about screenwriting, but it turned out, like many others have said, to be a fun ride. The joke about every script having zombies is something that I am guilty of sometimes when I think of ideas for scripts that never actually get written; I'm guilty of thinking that any script with zombies in it tends to be awesome So yes, The Reader was very relatable. You've made writing about writing interesting to read.

Cheers,
Angela

HI ED

Nice little short you have here. I like the concept, although the ending was pretty predictable.

But overall, it was nice comedy and you're right... way too many zombie scripts

Mark

Angela and Mark, thanks for the reads and kind words.

For the record, I have nothing against Zombies. I just imagined that, while they're "in," a spec script reader may see 100s of them in a day. I had also just finished the book World War Z when I wrote this and there's no way the movie can match the book...judging the trailer they opted to not even try to match it. Brad Pitt is from my hometown, though, so I have to root for it not to suck.

I did a double-take when I saw your post, Mark, because you've been so helpful to me on so many other threads that I thought for certain you'd already weighed in on this.

...looking forward to reading more of your work also, Angela.

[quote=Ed]I did a double-take when I saw your post, Mark, because you've been so helpful to me on so many other threads that I thought for certain you'd already weighed in on this.[quote]

That's weird, because I read this before and I was sure I left feedback. I must have got side-tracked

Mark