Good to see others chiming in here.  NOt good to see Alex continuing to act like he is...reminds me of some other writers who only respond to positive feedbacka dn try to ignore all else.

Alex, your opening line was misquoted by me, and I apologize for that.  It has been changed.  It was not intentional.

If nothing else, I'd still appreciate you responding about the 2 different years being used and how that math works out with Jack Flannigan's age.

Quoted from Dreamscale Alex, your opening line was misquoted by me, and I apologize for that.  It has been changed.  It was not intentional.

Thanks Jeff.

You originally mentioned that you did a cut and paste and if so how did that change ?
I don't believe a cut and paste can alter the wording ?

Quoted from Dreamscale If nothing else, I'd still appreciate you responding about the 2 different years being used and how that math works out with Jack Flannigan's age.

32 years later Jack is 20 years older. Knew he should have been a female character as I believe they age that way. Hee Hee

I added the second SUPER at a later date and must have got my numbers mixed up. Thanks for letting me know.

Alex

Thanks for responding, Alex.

Again, I promise you I did not purposely misquote your script.  Something's wrong with my posting becausae my auto correct isn't on or doesn;t seem to be working.

In no way would I do soemthing so dumbass as to misquote something on purpose that ahyone and everyone would see was incorrect.  BUT, I do stand by all the quotes i posted about being awkward phrasing.  Whether or not you oraanyone else agrees, is a different matter.

On the year/age thing, i knoew it was a mistake and wanted to alert you, as I did and do for everything I see that's wrong or not correct.

No hard felings, bro, from me, at least.  I always try to help, but sometimes the way I come across turns peeps off.

Cool?  

Quoted from Dreamscale Thanks for responding, Alex. Again, I promise you I did not purposely misquote your script.  Something's wrong with my posting becausae my auto correct isn't on or doesn;t seem to be working. In no way would I do soemthing so dumbass as to misquote something on purpose that ahyone and everyone would see was incorrect.  BUT, I do stand by all the quotes i posted about being awkward phrasing.  Whether or not you oraanyone else agrees, is a different matter. On the year/age thing, i knoew it was a mistake and wanted to alert you, as I did and do for everything I see that's wrong or not correct. No hard felings, bro, from me, at least.  I always try to help, but sometimes the way I come across turns peeps off. Cool?

Hey Jeff,

Thanks Mate and definitely no hard feelings at this end.

I feel you have probably been told it before though, you need to really ease up a touch.

We are all here at SS for the same reason and life should be FUN !!!!!

Not everyone gets everything right all the time. Even the best of us F*** up sometimes.
When someone pisses me off, I think of a HAPPY place.       HAPPY... HAPPY... HAPPY... (Happy Gilmore)

Alex

lmao oh c'mon, Alex, it's funny when Jeff tears your script a new asshole.

You're not the only one, although I didn't really see anything wrong with his posts and actually agree with most of what he said, especially concerning the awkward writing part.

I, on the other hand, did not get any further than 4 pages.  A bit on the tedious side.  Just wasn't my cup of tea.

Alex, don't worry I wont comment on the writing here, I tend to focus on the actual story.

I enjoyed this.  That is all.

Not really.  I liked the creepiness of the setting and the tale of Jack.

I did think that William's reaction was a surprise.  When Jack turns up in his bedroom he seems a but startled (wide eyed) but is soon transfixed with Jack's story.  Was he hyponotised or something?  Just seems strange that he wasn't shitting himself?  

That's my only real gripe.  Overall I really liked this.

With all the fuss, I had to take a look.

Fine for what it is -- and nothing unbearably awkward for me -- but there is one thing about this tale that bugged me -- and that is the dialogue from the Old Man (which I would not hyphenate, personally).

Virtually every line you give this guy is, "The rumors say", "Twas said", "They say", "Legend says", "It is written", and on and on with stuff like that.

Once the Old Man has established the "legendary" nature of the story, just let him tell the story without some kind of caveat for every line of dialogue.  The impact of his tale will be improved.

My 2 cents.

Quoted from alffy I enjoyed this.  That is all. Not really.  I liked the creepiness of the setting and the tale of Jack. I did think that William's reaction was a surprise.  When Jack turns up in his bedroom he seems a but startled (wide eyed) but is soon transfixed with Jack's story.  Was he hyponotised or something?  Just seems strange that he wasn't shitting himself?   That's my only real gripe.  Overall I really liked this.

Hey Anthony,

Thanks for the read and post.

Initially I was trying to make it seem that the Oldman was the boys grandfather telling him the story and William went "Wide Eyed" because of the story and not because of the old man.

Sure if a ghost was sitting in a chair in your room you would really crap yourself, though some people do freeze up in these situations.

Thanks and glad you enjoyed it.

Alex

Quoted from bert With all the fuss, I had to take a look. Fine for what it is -- and nothing unbearably awkward for me -- but there is one thing about this tale that bugged me -- and that is the dialogue from the Old Man (which I would not hyphenate, personally). Virtually every line you give this guy is, "The rumors say", "Twas said", "They say", "Legend says", "It is written", and on and on with stuff like that. Once the Old Man has established the "legendary" nature of the story, just let him tell the story without some kind of caveat for every line of dialogue.  The impact of his tale will be improved. My 2 cents.

Thanks for taking a read Bert. I have taken out the hyphen and really don't know why I put it there in the first place, thanks for that.

I will review the Old Man's dialogue.

Thanks for doing a read.

Alex