Quoted from TonyDionisio I see your point about the shaving now but while reading the script for the first time it is neither here nor there and hurt the read for me. I suggest having him about to shave then toss the shaver, cry instead or something.  Have him struggle as he tries to perform the task. My opinion anyway Tony

Oh, an old comment I missed. Sounds a bit OTT for me, I prefer subtlety. It also doesn't fit the character I was trying to create, especially considering this is not the first time he's been affected by his symptoms. But cheers for throwing the idea out there.

I opened this up in Trelby today and decided to give the script a polish. It's quite interesting how much you catch what you've missed before once you gain knowledge of craft. I feel like I've learned a fair amount in the past month, despite barely writing anything myself. I'm far from good, but I think I'm getting better.

So new draft, tear it apart. Don't hold back, any small flaw that's useful to know for the future is much appreciated.

- DS