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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  A Bike - Produced Moderators: bert
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  Author    A Bike - Produced  (currently 3142 views)
DanC
Posted: May 11th, 2015, 2:25pm Report to Moderator
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Killing villains since 1980!

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I didn't read the script, but, I did watch the short.  It was nice.  It does tug at your heart strings.
  

One comment though.  If the bike had a flat tire, how did they ride it to her house?  

I don't know if it was me or not, but, I didn't care for the female lead too much.  I thought her delivery was a bit stiff.  He seemed generally nice and concerned, but, her lines felt "read" more then spoken.

Overall, a nice piece.  Well done.  I hope it does well!

Dan


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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Iancou
Posted: May 11th, 2015, 8:30pm Report to Moderator
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Wow, Olga. Great job. That was a nice, uplifting story. Can't wait to read your next one.


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MarkRenshaw
Posted: May 12th, 2015, 3:11am Report to Moderator
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Congratulations on getting this produced. I too didn't read the script but I was amused by the comments which mainly argued over typos lol.

I did watch it and enjoy it, a nice 'feels' short. I particularly liked the flashback to her dad. There seemed to be a subtle change of filter there to make it look like it was shot on an older camera which was a real nice touch.

I also didn't realise sideburns had made such a comeback

Well done!

-Mark


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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khamanna
Posted: May 12th, 2015, 8:47am Report to Moderator
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Nice short, Olga - congrats! I got very heartwarming feeling from it. And the actors did a great job.
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