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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Disassociation Moderators: bert
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eldave1
Posted: June 22nd, 2016, 1:25pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



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They did a really nice job with this one. My only issue (a minor one) was I wasn't crazy about all the cut to black screen up front  - but overall it was very professional and solid. l - thought the wife in particular was a great actress. Congrats, dude.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Dustin
Posted: June 22nd, 2016, 1:51pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Action speaks louder...

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Quoted from eldave1
They did a really nice job with this one. My only issue (a minor one) was I wasn't crazy about all the cut to black screen up front  - but overall it was very professional and solid. l - thought the wife in particular was a great actress. Congrats, dude.


Thanks mate.

You should really consider writing some shorts. I'm sure you'd see some instant success in this area. Once you have a short made, you're a produced writer. Short wins an award (of any kind) and you're an award winning writer. Looks good on the C.V. and/or in pitches to producers. They're more likely to take your pitch seriously and not instantly delete it.


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eldave1
Posted: June 22nd, 2016, 2:06pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah - other than one short ("The Object of My Infection"), I've pretty much only done them for the OWC. I', 3/4ths the way through a feature now that I want o complete and after that I am going to focus on Shorts. Thanks for the advice.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Grandma Bear
Posted: June 22nd, 2016, 2:24pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dustin

You should really consider writing some shorts. Once you have a short made, you're a produced writer. Short wins an award (of any kind) and you're an award winning writer. Looks good on the C.V. and/or in pitches to producers. They're more likely to take your pitch seriously and not instantly delete it.

I can definitely second that. And, the more the better too, because even if things don't always turnout great, that doesn't really matter. No one sits and watches through your films. They just look at the credits.

Oh, and I just remembered the film End Of The Tour won best screenplay at a festival. I guess that makes me an award winning writer! I had totally forgot about that!  



.
SS, is still free...
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MarkItZero
Posted: June 22nd, 2016, 3:04pm Report to Moderator
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That was intense stuff. Between that and Guilty Conscious you certainly know your way around dark and intense. And you seem to be getting a crazy amount of stuff filmed lately. Congrats.


That rug really tied the room together.
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Dustin
Posted: June 23rd, 2016, 4:34pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Action speaks louder...

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Quoted from Grandma Bear

Oh, and I just remembered the film End Of The Tour won best screenplay at a festival. I guess that makes me an award winning writer! I had totally forgot about that!  


Nice to be able to tick boxes.


Quoted from MarkItZero
That was intense stuff. Between that and Guilty Conscious you certainly know your way around dark and intense. And you seem to be getting a crazy amount of stuff filmed lately. Congrats.


Two things so far, with another that should, hopefully, be completed soon. I'm close to sealing the deal with another short of mine that should definitely get made to a high standard. I have that feature out there too that could pop up any time.

I do like the darker stories. I don't believe that one needs to sympathise or have emotional investment with characters. Readers just need to be interested in what the characters do next. This allows for this type of storytelling, where I believe the reader's need to know what's going to happen next, overrides all other aspects.

This is how I arrived at the conclusion that mystery beats conflict. Yes conflict drives a story, but it's mystery that keeps us watching.


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Nathan Hill
Posted: June 23rd, 2016, 10:28pm Report to Moderator
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Great production there. Really intense. I just think that sfx for the gun shot cheesy and the way it was shot just felt fake. Didn't really impact me but I enjoyed most of it.
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Dustin
Posted: June 24th, 2016, 3:51am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Action speaks louder...

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Quoted from Nathan Hill
Great production there. Really intense. I just think that sfx for the gun shot cheesy and the way it was shot just felt fake. Didn't really impact me but I enjoyed most of it.


I noticed that it was a fake gun pretty early on. It is distinctly visible a couple of times where we can look into the barrel. That took something away from it for me. I also don't like the way he points the gun at the child. I prefer my version where the danger to the child is merely implied by the blindfolding near the end.

All in all though, considering what can happen to our scripts in the wrong hands, they did an excellent job.

Take a look at this version, produced by somebody else:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtIlD8bqIa0


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