A few thoughs, just my opinion of course...
1) I'm not a fan of the title, seems to just be shock value that isn't really backed up by the story itself and it feel a little, erm, juvenile.
2) The second sentence is an unfilmable and immeadiately took me out of the script, there's no way the audience can know it's sunday.
3) Given that the intro is a repeat of the end, I think you can lose it, not sure it adds value or anything different.
4) No need to break your script up with CREDIT SEQUENCE... someone else will decide where to put that.
5) What shows us that Sebastian has great style? We find out later that he's an accountant... so be better to have something that shows his great style... may a reference to smart designer suit?
6) Men are frequently descibed as good looking, women beautiful, gorgeous etc... if we are to believe that Sebastian can be persuaded to rob a bank for her then I think you need to convey how smoking she is.
7) CLAP is an odd sound description for high heels, CLIP or CLICK maybe?
The section about where Averley lives doesn't ring true, most people when asked this question will say a city/town, suburb etc...
9) Sebastian is a bored accountant who smokes weed in restaurants, again doesn't seem consistent with his character.
10) There's some odd spelling in the dialogue, e.g. peanut instead of pina and ludacrisis ... are these meant to character affectations? (if so, fair enough)
11) The VO when mixed in with dialogue about robbng the bank didn't wor for me as I thought the on screen dialogue sufficed.
12) I'm really struggling to buy the fact that he'd want to f**k anyone enough to rob a bank, even if the bank has the worst security in the world.
13) My vagina isn't going to eat itself - you see to gave slipped into spoof porn territory.
14) And the end... why are they running, surely they'd have a car? Who raised the alarm, did the foolproof plan go awry? And shooting him... well okay, he was an annoying dick