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Basket Case (currently 2023 views)
Don
Posted: February 23rd, 2016, 11:09pm
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So, what are you writing?
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Basket Case by Abu Nuwas - Short, Animation - Fruits are discussing their interactions with humans. - pdf, format
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cbead
Posted: February 24th, 2016, 7:10am
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Abu,
Very witty, some good paced humour in this little gem. Flow was good, I could picture the characters and I did have a chuckle at some of the gags. "Because Danny works for a bank".
Some formatting issues, parenthesis need to be on a separate line at the appropriate indent. Some other minor grammar issues which need addressing.
Very much enjoyed this one. Good work.
Reply: 1 - 8
Nolan
Posted: February 24th, 2016, 9:34am
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Hey Abu, I noticed grammar issues as well. Nothing that can't be fixed though. Take a look through it again. I liked the concept. I really wanted a hand to come into the jar and cause mass chaos among the fruit, but perhaps that's just me. And I couldn't figure out what was happening with the grape at the end. Did he kill another grape? Maybe I'm just not in the ball this morning. Fun concept though. Nolan
Reply: 2 - 8
eldave1
Posted: February 24th, 2016, 11:23am
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Not a fan of the confidential and copyright water marks on the scripts - they serve as a distraction to the read.
Reply: 3 - 8
Kia
Posted: February 25th, 2016, 9:07am
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Not a fan of the confidential and copyright water marks on the scripts - they serve as a distraction to the read.
I agree. I didn't understand if you used a software to write this in, that wasn't licsenced or if you put the watermark on there.
There are some types of software online where you can remove a watermark.
I also find dropbox a bit annoying when compared to the uploads made on this site. I would imagine that uploading to dropbox helps this site out, as it doesn't waste space on the simply scripts server.
Far as the script goes, I thought it was cute. But, when are talking fruits not?
Also, have you heard of the series of movies called BASKET CASE. They are totally different than this, hahah.
Reply: 4 - 8
DustinBowcot
Posted: February 25th, 2016, 6:09pm
Guest User
Also, have you heard of the series of movies called BASKET CASE. They are totally different than this, hahah.
First thing I thought of... bit of an anti climax to find it's about talking fruit.
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Reply: 5 - 8
eldave1
Posted: February 25th, 2016, 6:27pm
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Maybe should have titled it The Grapes of Rats
Reply: 6 - 8
LC
Posted: February 25th, 2016, 6:29pm
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Fruity Loops does seem like the obvious choice, or Loopy Fruits, or Pick Of The Bunch.
And why not just put a (c) on it? Also, 'Confidential'? when it's posted on an Internet forum?
Ha, funny Dave.
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Reply: 7 - 8
W.K Sharah
Posted: February 29th, 2016, 6:21pm
Very Interesting story. You had a lot of good moments in their with some irony and puns I enjoyed. A few gramatical errors and formatting you need to look at though
Reply: 8 - 8
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