Octonauts: Origins - Episode 1: The Invitation to the Convention by Fernando da Rocha da Costa - Short, Action, Animation, Fantasy, Comedy, Sci-Fi, Children and Youth - The future Octonauts receive invitations to a convention, beginning their journey towards friendship and adventure. 5 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice

Cute. I like the message that it sends.

FJD

I like this also, even though the alignment seems out of sync with normal screenplay formatting. Also I think you need to size up the text and carry on. Pleasant story though.

First and foremost, your "script" is not written in screenplay format. No screenplay software/program was used—you wrote it in Doc form. Because of this, I did not even read your story, no matter how good it may be. Simply put, this is not a screenplay. You MUST write in screenplay format. A good FREE screenplay software for you to download is http://www.trelby.com. It's a basic beginner's screenplay software that is simple to learn and operate - and delivers 100% script/screenplay formatting standards. Download it... and rewrite your story using it. Re-send it for another "re-write" review. All the best. And remember, keep writing... keep writing.

I trust you'll take my constructive criticism as just that.

Quoted from BarryJohn I trust you'll take my constructive criticism as just that.

I'm still waiting to see if he responds with "Mmmmm".

Fernando, hope you don't mind but I took the shocking liberty of reformatting your script (via Fade In).

Other than the formatting, I made no changes, aside from removing the quotation marks around your dialogue. Everything else remains just as you wrote it.

You can view and download the .pdf of it  HERE.

Wow, that's very generous, DB. If I may say, I don't think you needed to copy all the CUT TOs. Plus there is the fact that Fernando never made an appearance. I hope he does.

Quoted from LC Wow, that's very generous, DB.

My god, I know, right? Three entire pages (plus title)...

Quoted Text If I may say, I don't think you needed to copy all the CUT TOs.

There are several other corrections I could have made but it's not my script, so felt it best to leave it intact, minus the quotation marks (and a trimmed parenthetical).

Quoted Text Plus there is the fact that Fernando never made an appearance. I hope he does.

Same. This place gets too quiet in between events.