Quoted from Abe from LA Hey Zack, This didn't quite work for me, but it's not far off.  Add some irony and see what happens. Libby's comment reminded me of the proverb, one man's trash is another man's treasure. I like the idea of some kook hijacking the yard sale. (Somewhere in this concoction, I see a Mr. Bean character.) Add a third person, who is willing to buy the soiled underwear. Maybe it's the only transaction that day. Not sure if that makes it funny, but it will complete the proverb. Good luck.

What's up, Abe? Happy to see you still kicking around here on SS.

Lots of good ideas you've thrown my way. May use some of them for the rewrite. Thanks for reading.

Updated draft up! Thanks, Don. Just cleaned up the writing a bit.

Tweaking the ending just a tad would've made this such a hit for me! I'm not a comedy writer in the slightest, so props to you for even giving it a go!

I think the ending just feels lackluster. Like getting hit in the face with the soiled underwear is funny as hell, but I think expanding upon that and maybe even finishing out that last page with more can add to the disarray!

"A man who goes to bed with an itchy butt wakes up with a stinky finger."-- Alfred Hitchcock

I know comedy is subjective, I must be the worst reader or something, but this mess had me rollin’. I can see that. I definitely think you are on to something. I know-- can almost taste it-- I see the situation taking form. Then you  hammer it home with a  "payoff/punchline"-- albeit a perpetually weak one. And  I'm on the floor again.

(Sing along, everybody!)

"On the floor again. Just can't wait to be on the floor again-- La, la-- la, la, la-- laaa--

It's not everyone’s cup of tea, coke, or brew.   My one substantive comment is this... the Farrelly brothers notwithstanding, I think the main problem here is that  something gross or over-the-top doesn't necessarily mean humor.  Given it more of an ironic twist/punchline should do the trick.

Methinks  you're caught between the devil and the deep blue sea, Zack.  Something like this -- you either love it - or hate it. It's tough to find a happy medium.  I know some writers would probably go all in with the grossness to really appeal to the people who can appreciate this humor instead of trying not to repel people who wouldn't watch this show anyway. Make sense?

Even though it may not seem like it, it’s always entertaining to read your work.  Thank ya kindly for the laughs.-A

Quoted from Sarah Tweaking the ending just a tad would've made this such a hit for me! I'm not a comedy writer in the slightest, so props to you for even giving it a go! I think the ending just feels lackluster. Like getting hit in the face with the soiled underwear is funny as hell, but I think expanding upon that and maybe even finishing out that last page with more can add to the disarray!

Thanks for the read and the great suggestion. And welcome to SimplyScripts! Hope to see you around more.

Quoted from ghost and_ghostie gal "A man who goes to bed with an itchy butt wakes up with a stinky finger."-- Alfred Hitchcock I know comedy is subjective, I must be the worst reader or something, but this mess had me rollin’. I can see that. I definitely think you are on to something. I know-- can almost taste it-- I see the situation taking form. Then you  hammer it home with a  "payoff/punchline"-- albeit a perpetually weak one. And  I'm on the floor again. (Sing along, everybody!) "On the floor again. Just can't wait to be on the floor again-- La, la-- la, la, la-- laaa-- It's not everyone’s cup of tea, coke, or brew.   My one substantive comment is this... the Farrelly brothers notwithstanding, I think the main problem here is that  something gross or over-the-top doesn't necessarily mean humor.  Given it more of an ironic twist/punchline should do the trick. Methinks  you're caught between the devil and the deep blue sea, Zack.  Something like this -- you either love it - or hate it. It's tough to find a happy medium.  I know some writers would probably go all in with the grossness to really appeal to the people who can appreciate this humor instead of trying not to repel people who wouldn't watch this show anyway. Make sense? Even though it may not seem like it, it’s always entertaining to read your work.  Thank ya kindly for the laughs.-A

Thanks for reading, Andrea. Happy you found it funny as well. Comedy is a tough genre to write, because comedy is so subjective. But if even one person finds it funny, then I feel like I've succeeded. I'm definitely not done with this script. Gonna sit on it and think a bit more before I take another crack at it.

Thanks again for the kind words. It's really nice knowing that someone out there consistently enjoys my work. Means I've got to be doing something right.