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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  Cornament of Champions - OWC
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  Author    Cornament of Champions - OWC  (currently 889 views)
SAC
Posted: August 26th, 2021, 6:45am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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Writer,

Wonderful! Loved everything about this — the innuendos, double entendres, what not. I thought it all very cute until the first mention of rim job. That’s when I laughed out loud. Tone, pace, descriptions … Everything was all good without going too far over the top. My only issue was the ending.  Think it needed more, perhaps a visit from Greta in there screaming at her kid or something. Anyways… Loved this! Only read a few, but this, so far, is by far my fav. Great work!

Steve


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: August 26th, 2021, 10:43pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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The innuendo didn't seem to do it for me because you didn't take it as far as it could possibly go. If you're going to do the ridiculous, innuendo-laced route, you have to be fully committed to it. I wanted to like this, but most of the jokes didn't land for me. Not that it was bad, just not my kind of humor.


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