Gave this a read as it’s got the same title as one of mine.
It’s okay. You’ve managed to convey the character’s loneliness.
I wouldn’t write the word intelligent as you can’t see this. You also don’t have to write about the previous scene when Alice bumps into Harry when we’re following Harry. I get it without the helpful note.
I do wonder if the characters are lonely in the end. Was it a daydream by Harry? I think so when Alice looks up and he’s disappeared. I’m just not sure.
The overall ending. Not sure about the way it ended. A good start. I feel the ending could be stronger.
All the best. |