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The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.
NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressedwrittenpermission of the author.
Sign Here by Simon Parker - Short, Drama - The president of the united states must act to stop a scandal before it ruins his second term in office. 4 pages - pdf format
Well done, I like this - Concise, easy to read and follow. I enjoyed the story also.
I only have a couple of small bits to mention:
Your log line, kinda ruined the story for me - I know viewers, if produced, wouldn't read a log line - but as a reader, the moment he comes in and says "Mr president" It should be an "Oooo" moment, but I already read it in the log line.
He mentions that this is the second time he has presented a document, this time for more money, but she is still surprised that he want's to buy her silence - wouldn't that have come up the first time?
The ending - I am not saying change it, it's your story - but sometimes what we don't see is more powerful - Him walking away (remorseful/not remorseful) and hearing a gun shot, is another way to go
Oh and I also like that you chose the nursery as the location for the ending - well done
Just read your script. Great job. It's very well written, and the dialogue is well written. I agree with the other commenter about the reveal that Michael was the president, but it was still a great read. I hope this gets produced.
Matthew Lincoln
P.S. I'm looking for some feedback on my script. It's in the sci-fi short section. It's called inescapable. Care to give it a read?