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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  Shooting
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Don
Posted: March 27th, 2019, 4:57pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Shooting by Isaac Sweeney - Short, Drama, Urban - Will Angel choose the future he wants or the revenge his family deserves? 15 pages

Screenplay festival live reading (YouTube) - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Nomad
Posted: March 29th, 2019, 7:23pm Report to Moderator
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There were a lot of formatting issues, but they can easily be remedied.

There wasn't a lot new here.  It had a Boyz N The Hood feel to it, but it lacked any real punch.  I do like the fact that Angel had a choice at the end, which makes a film.  Choice.  

The characters have to make a choice.  I have to feel their dilemma.  Their struggle.  I have to feel they're torn between "right" and "wrong".

You alluded to that but I didn't really subscribe to the truth of it all.  It felt forced.

If you're around, Isaac, I'll go into detail on what I'm talking about.

Thanks for the read.

-Jordan


Read my scripts here:
SOCIAL EXPERIMENT 8pg-Drama
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SCHEISSE 6pg-Horror/Comedy
MADE FOR EACH OTHER-FILMED
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