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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  Q&A
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AndyJ
Posted: February 20th, 2020, 8:29am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
Congrats, Andy!

I look forward to seeing this when it's made.
Keep us in the loop when that might be.


Thanks, will do. I wrote this with an English accent in mind so it'll be interesting to see how it comes across with American actors. Oh and just to say this was picked up from Simplyscripts, so thumbs up.


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Matthew Taylor
Posted: February 20th, 2020, 8:37am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from AndyJ
I removed the "Smart" when describing Steve although not everyone who wears a suit is "Smart".


I think the point with that one is that smart is associated with suit.
It's an obvious thought. suit = smart
So we don't have to elaborate on the obvious, only when we diverge from the norm do we need to do so.

But, if you really want to drill home that he looks smart then simply saying he looks smart is a bit dull. Always think visual "Freshly pressed suit".
In contrast, if your character was a low-life with a court date, he wouldn't be simply "scruffy" he would be in a "Crinkly ill-fitting suit"

Just a thought anyway.

Congrats on your success so far - Long may it continue.


Feature

42.2

Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
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AndyJ
Posted: February 20th, 2020, 8:56am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor


I think the point with that one is that smart is associated with suit.
It's an obvious thought. suit = smart
So we don't have to elaborate on the obvious, only when we diverge from the norm do we need to do so.

But, if you really want to drill home that he looks smart then simply saying he looks smart is a bit dull. Always think visual "Freshly pressed suit".
In contrast, if your character was a low-life with a court date, he wouldn't be simply "scruffy" he would be in a "Crinkly ill-fitting suit"

Just a thought anyway.

Congrats on your success so far - Long may it continue.


Thanks Matt. Yeah I get what you're saying but does it really matter as long as we get an idea of what they are like? I just think a lot of people overthink too much. Obviously if it's really badly written then that's a different matter but does it really matter if I say he is smart?


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Matthew Taylor
Posted: February 20th, 2020, 9:09am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from AndyJ


Thanks Matt. Yeah I get what you're saying but does it really matter as long as we get an idea of what they are like? I just think a lot of people overthink too much. Obviously if it's really badly written then that's a different matter but does it really matter if I say he is smart?


Nope, doesn't really matter. It doesn't really matter if I add garlic to my roast potatoes, but it adds flavour and makes them more enjoyable.

Saying he is smart is good enough - but why settle for good enough?


Feature

42.2

Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
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AndyJ
Posted: September 29th, 2020, 1:57pm Report to Moderator
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What with all the madness in the world at the moment I sort of forgot about this being produced. I got an E-mail today telling me they wrapped the film last week and it is now being edited. I can't waiti to see it, I'm also on IMDB now, so I'm pretty pleased.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13057932/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_1



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AndyJ  -  September 30th, 2020, 7:34am
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eldave1
Posted: September 29th, 2020, 2:39pm Report to Moderator
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very cool


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: September 29th, 2020, 2:48pm Report to Moderator
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Great news


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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AndyJ
Posted: September 29th, 2020, 2:54pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1
very cool


I have to say this wouldn't have happened if it were not for SimplyScripts. I wrote this for a OWC so if it wasn't for that the script probably wouldn't exist. Also it was picked up from here so I'm glad I joined here and also entered the OWC, I didn't win that by the way lol



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AndyJ  -  September 30th, 2020, 7:35am
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AndyJ
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Quoted from AnthonyCawood
Great news


Yeah I'm really pleased.


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AndyJ
Posted: November 1st, 2020, 9:24am Report to Moderator
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The film has just made Official Selection https://www.lhifilmfestival.co.....W_m8RU60bVXIG-HRP1Y0 Best International Short


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Shakespeare on Toast
Posted: May 21st, 2023, 2:44pm Report to Moderator
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Challenging the status quo and pushing boundaries

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Hi. After reading through the feedback, I thought I'd give this a read myself. Apart from all the typos and lack of clarity with the flashback scene, I thought this was just a tad contrived. However I did want to know where this was leading so I stuck it out, but wasn't really taken by the final scene at all. But thanks for sharing.

John


“Asking for comments can sometimes be a disaster .”
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