SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
Welcome, Guest.
It is February 21st, 2024, 7:33pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship

Produced Script Database (Updated!)
Click here -> The February One Week Challenge Theme

Submit OWC scripts to

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the and domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  Monsters
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Monsters  (currently 157 views)
Posted: September 3rd, 2021, 5:18pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

Posts Per Day
Monsters by Steven Sallie & Carrie Sallie - Short, Drama, Horror - Nine-year-old Calvin dreads to see the school day end. Why? Because he must go home, which happens to be filled with monsters. 14 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Visit for what is new on the site.

You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
Posted: September 3rd, 2021, 8:27pm Report to Moderator

The Great Southern Land
Posts Per Day
Steven & Carrie,

V.Nice little 'monster' analogy here, cause we all know who the real 'monsters' are in this tale.

Loved the maggots and worms.   He's hungry!
Loved that Calvin uses his own 'army' and Marty at the helm.
The symbolism of the picture-perfect home morphing into a literal nightmare is terrific, and a great visual. This is Calvin's world, how he sees things.

Gotta feel for Calvin, especially at the end when he is being 'disciplined' by Dad in the final scene, and he cops the brunt from Mom as well..

Great. Now you’ve got him started

Haha! Very good.

Perhaps this -

Their teacher, MRS. MADDOX (50s, stern), looks over the
assignments. She doesn’t look pleased with the results.

- might serve your story better and tie in with your ending with even more impact if Mrs Maddox directs her sole disapproving glance in Calvin's direction specifically,

P.S. Typo -  Clavin, p.4

Your logline could do with a tweak imho. I don't think it does the story justice.
Perhaps include some wording along the lines of: 'there's no place like home, except...'

I could kinda see where this was going but it didn't detract from the reveal.
Very enjoyable!

Private Message Reply: 1 - 2
Posted: September 9th, 2021, 12:57pm Report to Moderator

Posts Per Day
I can just picture this as a PSA commercial or short film.

I also think the logline could be tweaked. Maybe something along the lines of...

'home is where the heart was...'
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 2
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Drama Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on

Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006