All's Well by John Stone - Short, Drama - A Found Bag Leads To Evil Intent. 15 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hi there

I enjoyed the read. Some nice concise visual writing for to me to tuck into.

At first, I wasn't sure if the transgender element was gonna play a part but it did in the end - However, I wasn't entirely sure whether it was male to female or vice versa but I think Lou was female to male, but the name is fairly gender-neutral so I couldn't quite confirm, let me know if I missed something obvious.

Like the dialogue, but quite expletive at times - that said I was in a pub last night and that's pretty much all I heard Just the use of the word "dude" by the psycho - most of the talk sounded London/British so "dude" didn't quite fit for me, but then again, he is a psycho

Also, feel there were a few parenthetical's that you didn't need --

Quoted Text PSYCHO (Angrily) ...What’d you mean, you thieving cunt! I fuckin’ know I’ve come to the right place! I traced the phone to this address.

It was obvious by the language that he was pissed, so I would only use them when the dialogue doesn't sell the manner that they're spoken in.

Anyway, other than those nitpicks, enjoyed the read. Good work.

Thanks for your feedback ColinS. And thank you for taking the time to read through.

Lou is actually male to female. The language is expletive and you're right he is Psycho.

I do tend to have a misuse of parentheticals when I get lost in a script. Just a bad habit I can't seem to shake off.

Best

John.