Quoted from Gerlinde May I ask why Bobby P. was not also named as an author? He had a big part in the making of the script. And I think he deserves to be named as co-author.

Gerlinde,

The posted information is based on what you submit in the submissions form.

Don

Gerlinde - I liked the story. I'm a smoker so maybe it's more relatable to me.

I'd have the dude spending a little more time - in a panic - searching the house trying to find that one stray cigarette.

It's not a good idea to repeat your location. It is a waste of words and slows down the read. i.e, take Dustin's advice here. I can find typos in pro scripts - doesn't mean I'd put them in mine

Look for more vibrant - more efficient - words. It'll make your work pop more.

Let's look at the opening as an example.

Quoted Text INT. BEN’S LIVING ROOM - EVENING 1 A dirty living room that has not been cleaned for a long time.

Could simply be:

Filthy.

Quoted Text Empty beer and liquor bottles are lying on the floor, the table, and the broken sofa.

lying - meh. How about "scattered"  

Or something like that - point being when you go through your second draft look at the words you use to see if there isn't something more descriptive/active that could replace it - especially when it comes to verbs.

Quoted Text This is the space of someone who has given up on life.

I liked that line - kind of sums it all up.

Quoted from eldave1 It's not a good idea to repeat your location. It is a waste of words and slows down the read. i.e, take Dustin's advice here. I can find typos in pro scripts - doesn't mean I'd put them in mine.

Why should not I do something that professional screenwriters do? Because I write for pleasure?
That does not mean that I do not want to try to write according to professional standards!
I try to do my best.

Quoted from Gerlinde Why should not I do something that professional screenwriters do? Because I write for pleasure? That does not mean that I do not want to try to write according to professional standards! I try to do my best.

Take my advice or ignore it. Up to you.