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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Dramedy Scripts  ›  I Tried Therapy
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  Author    I Tried Therapy  (currently 79 views)
Don
Posted: June 10th, 2024, 2:04pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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I Tried Therapy by Hrant Ahanisyan - Short, Dramedy - A delusional man gathering courage to admit he needs help. 15 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Hrant
Posted: June 10th, 2024, 5:26pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for getting my script online, Don.
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Stoneyscripts
Posted: June 15th, 2024, 2:03pm Report to Moderator
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Pushing boundaries

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This script does have some issues in the way it is written. Firstly, you need to proofread the whole script from top to bottom.

Secondly, you don't need to keep repeating your slug lines.

Beat.

Then move on with action lines.

Thd narrative is quite cool and I really did have empathy with the Therapist, but not so much with his father - the Client.

You have some decent observations with the ring finger touching, and the looking out of the window, and even a touch of OCD in there which I thought was interesting in character building.

I understand it takes courage to come out of the closet and I applaud you for posting this story from your vantage an view point.

Thanks for sharing.


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