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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Romantic Comedy Scripts  ›  Take it to heart.
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Don
Posted: January 29th, 2023, 11:47am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Take it to heart. by Henry Houdini Mame - Short, Rom Com - A glimpse into a romantic spark shows different ideas to finding the one. 4 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice


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steven8
Posted: January 31st, 2023, 4:58am Report to Moderator
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I liked the story.  I thought it was sweet and cute.  I think you really did catch the chemistry between your two characters.  What I think though, is you sometimes put dialogue in as action text.  Read through it again.  it happened a few times.


...in no particular order
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PKCardinal
Posted: July 3rd, 2023, 4:00pm Report to Moderator
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Agreeing with Steven on this one. Good short story with a fun point to make.

Definitely need to spend some time cleaning the format up. You have dialogue in the action blocks and action in the dialogue blocks.

Clean it up, and you'll have a nice script that someone might just want to shoot.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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