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Don
Posted: February 11th, 2020, 8:03pm Report to Moderator
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Password: Ultimate by Alex Brauck - Short, Sci fi, Fantasy - In the late 22th century, a suicidal woman has to deal with her contractually secured immortality.  7 pages - pdf format

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LC
Posted: February 12th, 2020, 3:17am Report to Moderator
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During the OWC I loved the idea of this story, Alex, so I read the new draft.

I still love it, but I do find some things in the world building and narrative quite a bit unclear and some word usage needs refining.

When we meet Emily in this particular incarnation she's thirty-five but her chronological age of combined years lived on earth is one-hundred and ninety-five.

My understanding is she doesn't want to be alive anymore but she's contractually obligated, is that right?
She's depressed so tries to do herself in in various ways on numerous occasions.

Re the contract,  in your denouement she's given a final choice?
I'll admit to some confusion.

I’ve been initial dead for
five times yet


Perhaps this might read better (if my understanding is correct) as:
I've been pronounced dead five times.

I'm a best selling authoress
I'd change to simply 'author'.
Authoress sounds a bit pretentious and fussy and her character appears contrary to this.

We live in the age of death
Okay, count me as intrigued but the more times I read this the more confused I am.

Without being gratuitous I'd give a bit more visually to your sequence of shots i.e., the bathtub, pills, open window.  I feltt those visuals a bit downplayed.

I also feel Emily's anguish is a bit downplayed.

And, though I count myself as pretty well read I'll confess to having to look up the word:'lychnobite'.  We're writers so obviously I'm not averse to having my vocabulary widened but I'm on the fence here about the choice of words for your reading audience. It does add a certain gravitas and style but hmm, when some things get a little lost in the translation throwing in a less than commonplace word into the mix makes for a curious hybrid of writing. Perhaps the origin of this word is more familiar to you? Ancient Greek, I see.

a vehicle hovers along at breakneck
speed - chased by a flying police car, sirens wailing


I don't think hover and breakneck speed go together.
If you hover you're usually in the air but remaining in the same place so that sentence needs to be rearranged.

Okay, I'll stop there for now...
I'd like to offer a bit more feedback but before I do I'd love if you could sum up this world more for me, Alex. Oh, and elaborate re the photos - are they all the people she's known before, or are they her? Sorry if I sound dim.

P.S. Password: Ultimate?
Maybe reverse? The Ultimate Password, or, Final Password?

Jmho.




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PrussianMosby
Posted: February 12th, 2020, 5:21pm Report to Moderator
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Thank you so much for the read and your notes, Libby.

I hope my reply is anywhere close to readable :-)


Quoted from LC
During the OWC I loved the idea of this story, Alex, so I read the new draft.

I still love it, but I do find some things in the world building and narrative quite a bit unclear and some word usage needs refining.

When we meet Emily in this particular incarnation she's thirty-five but her chronological age of combined years lived on earth is one-hundred and ninety-five.


It's a problem yet that I haven't explained the whole body, 'vessel' thing. In short words, the humans have no problems with growing bodies. It stays unexplained yet. Premise is, rather should be – getting a body that hosts the mind – no problemo. I couldn't interweave an angle yet that deals with the topic.


Quoted from LC
My understanding is she doesn't want to be alive anymore but she's contractually obligated, is that right?


Good that you point that out because I obviously still seem to fail here premise-wise, bigly.

Emily is not obliged to her 'insurance' that keeps her mind alive. Perhaps I left too much open there regarding her 'insurance'.  In my imagination, which seems too off-page, she cherished her insurance that secures her 'mental', say intellectual survival one time. But at some point, say with about 130-140 years, her opinion has changed … --- it's actually some of the philosophical questions the script wants to trigger.


Quoted from LC
Re the contract,  in your denouement she's given a final choice?


Yes. Every time again when she commits suicide aka initial death. With that I'll come to your foregone point:


Quoted from LC
She's depressed so tries to do herself in in various ways on numerous occasions.


She not only tries, she actually committed suicide 5 times before. Each time she found herself, her mind, back on the mainframe of the insurance company.


Quoted from From script
Suicide becomes easy when pain has no consequence. To commit to the loss of existence is what drives us crazy.


With the second part of her dialogue I wanted to establish that idea (also a philosophical question of the script). In a sense, just imagine, suicide, in this future world, is just a pain, like a wound. It's only her very choice on the insurance's mainframe that decides ultimately about her existence.


Quoted from LC
I’ve been initial dead for
five times yet


First I wanted to name it: "I've been primary dead  for five times yet."

Now, in this world, there is also a first death scenario - the physical one. People with that strange insurance get a copy of their mind when dead. This copy gets uploaded to the VR platform on the insurance's mainframe. There they, their mind, their sanity, needs to commit to their ultimate death  re: last dialogue of the script..


Quoted from LC
Perhaps this might read better (if my understanding is correct) as:
I've been pronounced dead five times.


It's not your fault, rather my lack of clarity BUT She isn't pronounced dead.

She even hasn't lost her human/civil rights.

I tried to get this across in the climax when the - O'Neil virtual pulsing thing - even told her-


Quoted from From script

EMILY (V.O.)
(weeping)
What am I?

The wave animation on the wall pulsates.

O'NEIL (V.O.)
You are a human being, Mrs Hastings.

EMILY (V.O.)
I made this monster of me. And I still fear. I fear so much.

O'NEIL (V.O.)
That's what a human being does. Your consciousness, your mind is intact. You are real. Is it so hard to believe?



But no critique toward you. It seems it just doesn't work on the page.


Quoted from LC
I'm a best selling authoress
I'd change to simply 'author'.
Authoress sounds a bit pretentious and fussy and her character appears contrary to this.


Ha. You wouldn't believe that I actually thought a lot about that one term.  I even researched and read that 2 centuries ago something… specifying a female writer as authoress was seen as derogative by women. And I even read an article about a female writer who now wants to be called authoress.

So, I found that quite interesting and have chosen in favor for the today's controversial debate about gender terminology and such…  

I hoped it'll sound odd and progressive in a strange way since the story plays in 2180 something.


Quoted from LC
We live in the age of death
Okay, count me as intrigued but the more times I read this the more confused I am.


Yeah, a catch phrase that obviously doesn't work as well ;-)

It simply plays with the idea that in those times you can choose when death happens. You got the full control over your demise.


Quoted from LC

Without being gratuitous I'd give a bit more visually to your sequence of shots i.e., the bathtub, pills, open window.  I feltt those visuals a bit downplayed.


In a sense that you would have preferred the full flashback with her lying dead in her bathtub, in the crimson bath water?

I actually thought about the money here and also I didn't want to visually overload the script and felt it might be too distracting showing her take the pills, jumping out of the window…

This also might be connected to the fact I made this a VO machine. And I thought if I choose that flawed way of directing the narrative like that, then I at least won't show all the pictures; thought it'd be redundant, done twice, while she explains.


Quoted from LC

I also feel Emily's anguish is a bit downplayed.

Don't get that. I thought she makes a pretty good cheesy, lonesome psycho.

It's done pretty cheesy for sure – but downplayed??

At least the idea of a cabinet with pictures of 100 passed family members and friends feels effective I thought.


Quoted from LC

And, though I count myself as pretty well read I'll confess to having to look up the word:'lychnobite'.  


Ha :-) Chris called me out on the original street scum  term, which I wasn't so convinced is a problem but then sometimes you just listen to your reader, right?


Quoted from LC

We're writers so obviously I'm not averse to having my vocabulary widened but I'm on the fence here about the choice of words for your reading audience. It does add a certain gravitas and style but hmm, when some things get a little lost in the translation throwing in a less than commonplace word into the mix makes for a curious hybrid of writing. Perhaps the origin of this word is more familiar to you? Ancient Greek, I see.


People, do actually discuss this very word on the internet and it reached consensus for what I think I wanted to say. So, what I do is, I walk with 'night crawlers' right?


Quoted from LC

a vehicle hovers along at breakneck
speed - chased by a flying police car, sirens wailing


I don't think hover and breakneck speed go together.
If you hover you're usually in the air but remaining in the same place so that sentence needs to be rearranged.


This was actually part of the OWC reception as well and I just didn't get it there.

Thanks so much for explaining it. I always learn so much when you dissect my work.

So, hover is rather no forward movement.

Otherwise I think 'fly' sounds a little childish. Would 'float at breakneck speed' do?


Quoted from LC


Okay, I'll stop there for now...
I'd like to offer a bit more feedback but before I do I'd love if you could sum up this world more for me, Alex. Oh, and elaborate re the photos - are they all the people she's known before, or are they her? Sorry if I sound dim.


Yes, they are all people she knows, once knew, and most have passed away.

And I lack clarity here.

The off-page premise is that all those people either have had no insurance for whatever reason (no money, religious beliefs etc.) or they had an insurance but at one point have given in and committed to their ultimate death on the VR platform. The reason for the later may be that they were tired of life, had enough of life. They couldn't buy in the concept of an infinite existence.

Emily, she actually suffers from the same feelings eventually. She had one hundred and ninety years now and she's at the edge of committing to the loss of her existence as well. But she has fear.

And I love this story for that exact reason. In the climax, even not O'Neal's VR avatar can give her answer to her question of what will happen to her if they delete her hard drive.


Quoted from From script


O'NEIL (V.O.)
You don't have to. You just have to say the password and we'll erase your mind from the mainframe.

EMILY (V.O.)
And, I cease to exist?

O'NEIL (V.O.)
Yes.

EMILY (V.O.)
And where am I going?

O'NEIL (V.O.)
I have no answer, Mrs Hastings. You won't be here.


You won't be here is all he can say.

It somehow plays with all beliefs about existence and its subjectivity, maybe even singularity when we look into the mirror.

So, I here made the step of deleting all physics from a person's mind: like having a heart, screw that, people work with what's between their eyes right, no romantic approach to find here ;-)

Then still. Is there really a counter subjectivity. A nothing string? And I don't mean this as a rhetoric question btw.

So, don't get me wrong, this is no believer plea FOR a there is no nothing view

Maybe the question is what happens TO HER in the exact last moment when her digital mind gets turned off?

And I mean not the why – rather the HOW.

And of course there is no answer. And many people would see such stories as stupid. Then what I want to trigger is a thought about YOUR own view on this existence thing...

Your exact view. And I highly doubt there is much consensus in each and every specificity between all of us.

There's some wanted naivity in this story which is surely vulnerable regarding my concept and take.


Quoted from LC

P.S. Password: Ultimate?
Maybe reverse? The Ultimate Password, or, Final Password?

I walked the catchy way so far, yes. Perhaps it needs something more honest.

This is great feedback, Libby, as usual.

I hope I could give some input to clarify what the story should say.

But it's off-page yet, as in, it works in my head but it's not translated perfectly yet. Then, I don't want to be too whiny about my performance. I think I did this in the OWC thread when posting my rewrite.

SF is really hard since it's a scientific thesis that can't be proven nor refuted.

You could ask yourself how Mr Hammond could build Jurassic Park and none of his needed thousands of employees contacted the press and told the world about that secret dinosaur island.

I think they kept us within entertaining scenes that well, so that we give them credit and ignore our disbelief and enjoy…

Great notes, Libby. It's interesting that you didn't mention the VOs. So, maybe they work here.

Let me know if I cleared up all of your questions about the story's world. It would be very helpful if you'd send me another update for sure.

Alex




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PrussianMosby  -  February 12th, 2020, 5:50pm
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Colkurtz8
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Alex

I like the idea of an "authoress" as if gender specific naming has come full circle to counteract the actor/actress change of recent times

EMILY V.O.
I’ve been initial dead for
five times yet.

Is this some futuristic syntax or what? Doesn't make sense in 2020 English anyway

Sounds a bit Groundhog Day-ish with the repeated suicide attempts.

"lychnobite"

- Ha, I never heard of this term before. I thought it was an obscure reference to fans of David Lynch

"INITIAL DEATH INSURANCE"

- I guess we'll get some insight into this "initial death" concept now.

EMILY (V.O.)
Give me the passwords. I'll think
about it

- I love the existential, what-it-means-to-be-a-human turn this has taken. I have a lot of questions which I fear won't be answered but you definitely have me engaged. However, this above line, I dunno, it feels so blasé/casual considering the gravity of what they are talking about. It’s like she's a celebrity and they’re discussing the passwords to her social media accounts and whether she’ll delete them or not, you know...rather than her very existence, i.e. her consciousness being at stake.

So, of course there are no answers here haha but you certainly have the kernel of a fascinating idea. I've always thought immortality would be curse but immortality with the option to end it seems like the best scenario which, it appears, Emily has the luxury of. Hence, I'm confused why she is so miserable.

We learn she has outlived all her relatives and friends so she’s utterly alone in the world, yes that is a depressing notion but as we see, on this occasion she has the option of completely pulling the plug and ending her existence...so I'm thinking why didn't she choose this option the first time she committed suicide?
Maybe I missed it, was there something different about this time? Did she rack up the necessary quota of suicides which allowed her to choose "Ultimate death”? The logline appears to suggest this, that there is some kind of contractual obligation which she has seemingly fulfilled but there is no mention of it in the script and Emily looks to be unaware of it. (See “Give me the passwords. I’ll think about” line)

Other than that central confusion, there is great potential with this…but where to take it? As it stands, it’s just a cool idea, nothing more really.

Col.


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PrussianMosby
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Mister Col,

here a short answer to you. Hope all is well where you are. Alex  


Quoted from Colkurtz8
Yeah, I'm interested in history in general and the World War II period in particular. Prussia has always been a mysterious place to me because of its rich, glorious history and its early significance in the war.


As a Prussian I don't connect being Prussia with war so much, thankfully. Also, the war era in general seems to be past at the moment, thankfully. It seems we Europeans have stabilized the situation in Europe to this day, thankfully as well triple smiley

My intention of calling myself Prussian on this board was rather a thought in case of civilization as identification point. Then, I noticed that a lot of people truly connect it with the Prussian war history.

So, that might have not been the best choice by me

The language about the term Prussian should imo be reconsidered. Because it somehow must be rethought as a major part of civilization in central Europe. For centuries.

I'm talking about everything and beyond from - saying Hello when you enter a room.

My mother was born in Silesia, Poland today. Back in the days, Germany conquered some parts but also bought  a lot of it  from Katherine the Great, from Russia, I think to know.

At ww2 my mom's family chose to leave.

One of my best friends is Polish. His family chose to stay there at the very same time. They originally were Germans, but assimilated to being Polish, became Polish.

Those stories are deep and amazing.

Then I'm not a patriot or nationalist, maybe I'd even would favor a European State (not sure yet, but I tend to, yes). I just respect the ground where I stand on.

For you: as I said, here, we're split in three and we don't understand each other very well. West Germany is insane in a good way. I live in one of the few places of the entire world, where the people say: "You won't leave this place ever". It's that good. And since the open borders, we have the whole continent passing by as well.

That is that. I do love Canadians and USAmericans as well. I had the pleasure to visit the Toronto area, at the millennium break I think. The energy there was just terrific.

Enough. Well, I'm very happy  we signed the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. We're the center here with 10+ neighboring countries I think. My fear for USA is that they can't disarm because of the huge arm industry. Maybe, the crisis give you the opportunity to transform those jobs for the future.



Quoted from Colkurtz8
Nowadays however, the word itself is rarely mentioned since its been subsumed by Germany, Poland and Russia. Hence, the mysteriousness.


Yo. It's gone.

We're close to the Brits though as well. Like from old pagan grave culture to splitting from church, fighting Rome or Napoleons and such.

However, as I said, forget the war times. Although America freed us for sure.

I just want to say that Prussia is a point of identification, especially in case of behavior, reflection of life, communication, forward thinking, freedom.

USA once will have to deal with their immigration history as well. And the bubble of the lucky Irish becoming American will be relativized understanding, What will imo move in the direction of Prussia when it comes to social and philosophical truth. My opinion.


Sorry, for being this long. ; Then I swore to myself, that I'll answer to you soon. And I thought a lot. Truly. Ha, and I'm not so plesed with myself. It's a D- comment, bro. Then enough is enough.

I knock on wood for you, Col.








Revision History (1 edits)
PrussianMosby  -  April 25th, 2020, 4:41pm
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Colkurtz8
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Alex


Quoted from PrussianMosby
Doesn't make sense in 2020 English is one of my trademarks


Haha ok, Your version of nadsat, is it?


Quoted from PrussianMosby
Thank Herectic for that   In the original version I named those people on the streets (dealers, consumers and male/female prostitutes)  'street scum', which got a pc intervention   , which is fine by the way. Ha, then it seems that now I went with an eloquent term nobody knows. Maybe something in the middle would do…


Well, I'm not going to argue with Heretic, the guy knows his stuff but yeah, maybe something between willfully esoteric and just-the-right-side of PC would be more suitable. Still, there is no harm in learning new vocabulary either. Make it an edifying read. We all have Dictionary.com at our fingertips these days. For the record though, "street scum" is fine by me. It's illiterative quality more than makes up for its crudeness


Quoted from PrussianMosby
Just imagine you have a backup life/death decision every time again, if you each time respectively choose former option of course. And when you do choose the former one indeed, over and over, then, isn't it actually getting casual and mundane – better, she behaves a bit sarcastic and hides her fear with this sarcasm; her fear within, which still hasn't gone eventually, of course.


Sure, think Bill Murray's jadedness in Groundhog Day when he kills himself for the upteenth time...but this time is different for Emily, right? She is considering total erasure of her consciousness.


Quoted from PrussianMosby
That, I don't understand. Not without further context.


It's been a while since I read this but I remember it having an intriguing set up, a hint at a greater world but not much else is explained to us other than that. I know this is difficult within such a few pages which leads me to believe that the concept is indeed too big for the treatment you've given it here. It begs further exploration.


Quoted from PrussianMosby
I got answers to every question the script may raise. It's just, I fear, that my delivery sucks.


Perhaps, that could be it too.


Quoted from PrussianMosby
You can expand here if you want. That seems to be a critical point regarding the script, and I actually haven't given up on this concept.

Sure, better put it in a feature once.


Yeah, I would definitely encourage you to try and develop it.


Quoted from PrussianMosby
Yep. Weak part of the script, hands down. Her vague backstory around pictures and dialogues serves no true identification and understanding for her misery. It seems I've gone the easy way there, with expecting one hundred and eighty plus years would alone articulate and establish her weariness of life.

Fear. It's still a hard decision to take I think, don't you?

If you might want to expand here, very welcome. Very interested what you say.

The script is truly pushing toward that over-the-top thought of making a being have the 'casual' opportunity to end or not, like, exactly what you mentioned before.

In this case it's full throttle. No captives. The full 'what if' case is on the stage.


Agreed, it needs more, hence my earlier comments about tackling this on a bigger canvas/scale. She is your character, you know her better than anyone. There are a million ways you could take her as a character who culminates in where we are now.

P.S. I say this knowing full well that the "you should try to expand this" note is the most overused, sophomoric of short script notes...but there you have it It certainly applies here.


Quoted from PrussianMosby
As said, I'm a big player in the business of Doesn't make sense in 2020 English 


Just curious, where are you from? The land formally known as Prussia? What's your native language?


Quoted from PrussianMosby
Okay. Hard albeit understandable words. I see and hope to see the issues between your lines. To me, we're not close enough to the protagonist.


Yeah, that's definitely a starting point


Quoted from PrussianMosby
At first I was a little disappointed of the little number of reviews I got here. Because, when I myself read scripts of other writers, I never (maybe never) answered the ordinary question of 'if there's anything you want me to read in return' with: yes, of course, here,,,. Instead, I always thought some people will act themselves and keep an eye on my stuff as well.

Pathetic to mention that they do not and pathetic to mention that topic here anyway.


Nah, I hear ya. I've partook in similar moans in the past. Hmm, unfortunately though that is wishful thinking in regards hoping others will seek out your work and return the favour of their own accord. There has been some recent discussion on here regarding the paucity of people reading other's scripts nowadays and leaving feedback...compared to before anyway. Thus, you'll have to swallow your pride/modesty and take them up on the offer, although you'll find a lot of those offers are hollow. Or better still, directly ask people for a script review exchange.

I hope you are keeping safe too during thee difficult times, wherever you are

Col.


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PrussianMosby
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Col yo!


Quoted from Colkurtz8
Alex
Well, I'm not going to argue with Heretic, the guy knows his stuff but yeah


Yes, he knows. I only do name calling when I agree 100% on the positive side. I do period.


Quoted from Colkurtz8

We all have Dictionary.com at our fingertips these days


Interesting. I'd actually would swear on dict.cc . Will check out…


Quoted from Colkurtz8

Just curious, where are you from?


I live in Germany. Westphalia.


Quoted from Colkurtz8
The land formally known as Prussia?


Yes, albeit it's complicated. And I don' know if you're truly interested, so I don't want to spam you with stuff...

Prussia, to me, is what is stable in Central Europe, always,  (short info: Germany is split in 3 today, different thinking: Bavaria and south,  those lands East from the iron curtain back in the days, and us 'west' who still reach for connection to England and USA all the time, before and ever.

More than everything, Prussian is what I've been raised culturally. Language and behavior.  Especially the former.

In case you feel touched or are personally involved, just let me know, and we can talk.

To give you a picture where I'm coming from, here ,,, it's the far left brother. You cannot even vot'em.

In total re nick name:

Mosby I got from How I Met Your Mother.

Prussian was always a way to give a tag to myself that I'm ESL and especially about the things I mentioned above.


Quoted from Colkurtz8

Nah, I hear ya. I've partook in similar moans in the past. Hmm, unfortunately though that is wishful thinking in regards hoping others will seek out your work and return the favour of their own accord. There has been some recent discussion on here regarding the paucity of people reading other's scripts nowadays and leaving feedback...compared to before anyway. Thus, you'll have to swallow your pride/modesty and take them up on the offer, although you'll find a lot of those offers are hollow. Or better still, directly ask people for a script review exchange.


Yeah. You are so right.

You saw that I belittled myself with the wording of 'pathetic', lol smiley… ?

-------

Col, you stay away from giving much info of yourself. Imo, you do the correct thing. I mean it as that.

I hope you do help me in the future.


Alex



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LC
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Meant to come back to this, Alex, but clearly got waylaid.  

Specifically this:

Quoted from Alex
In a sense that you would have preferred the full flashback with her lying dead in her bathtub, in the crimson bath water?

I actually thought about the money here and also I didn't want to visually overload the script and felt it might be too distracting showing her take the pills, jumping out of the window…


It's ultimately your choice. And... though I'm not one for gratuitous gore the central part of your story does relate to her continually doing herself in. The horror/SciFi combo is particularly popular, and this is a visual medium after all so the inclusion of realism via ramping up the horror might well get this made.  Young filmmakers get excited to exercise their SFX talents and I do think it might add another dimension. Not over the top, just quick flash images.

Anyway, I'll leave that up to your artistic choice.

It's an original concept either way.
Alex, I'm looking forward to reading another draft if there's one in the pipeline.


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Quoted from PrussianMosby
I live in Germany. Westphalia.

Yes, albeit it's complicated. And I don' know if you're truly interested, so I don't want to spam you with stuff...

Prussia, to me, is what is stable in Central Europe, always,  (short info: Germany is split in 3 today, different thinking: Bavaria and south,  those lands East from the iron curtain back in the days, and us 'west' who still reach for connection to England and USA all the time, before and ever.

More than everything, Prussian is what I've been raised culturally. Language and behavior.  Especially the former.

In case you feel touched or are personally involved, just let me know, and we can talk.

To give you a picture where I'm coming from, here ,,, it's the far left brother. You cannot even vot'em.

In total re nick name:

Mosby I got from How I Met Your Mother.

Prussian was always a way to give a tag to myself that I'm ESL and especially about the things I mentioned above.


Yeah, I'm interested in history in general and the World War II period in particular. Prussia has always been a mysterious place to me because of its rich, glorious history and its early significance in the war. Nowadays however, the word itself is rarely mentioned since its been subsumed by Germany, Poland and Russia. Hence, the mysteriousness

I'm sure its very real to you of course being from there but as an outsider, it does have that veil of mystique. At least to me anyway, I only speak for myself.

I'm less interested in How I Met My Mother though. I don't like that show haha.

Anyway, best of luck with the script.

Col.


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PrussianMosby
Posted: April 21st, 2020, 6:00pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
Meant to come back to this, Alex, but clearly got waylaid.  

Specifically this:

It's ultimately your choice. And... though I'm not one for gratuitous gore the central part of your story does relate to her continually doing herself in. The horror/SciFi combo is particularly popular, and this is a visual medium after all so the inclusion of realism via ramping up the horror might well get this made.  Young filmmakers get excited to exercise their SFX talents and I do think it might add another dimension. Not over the top, just quick flash images.

Anyway, I'll leave that up to your artistic choice.

It's an original concept either way.
Alex, I'm looking forward to reading another draft if there's one in the pipeline.


Thanks for the motivation. Always.

I'll probably write another draft for you and the world .

Then, first I need to understand the feedback.  F.i. I would disagree with what you said about "costs". I originally would think to make it even more cheaper, more doable, more direct.

Like Col said, I raised a thought about 'immortality with a back-up option to quit' is interesting to him.

So, that's the story.

You gave a lot of more feedback than that anyway and I read it over a 50 times now and will read it again and again and again.

I hope for another draft. One last draft.

Thank you





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LC
Posted: April 21st, 2020, 7:37pm Report to Moderator
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Yes, write it for me, and the world, Alex.  


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PrussianMosby
Posted: April 25th, 2020, 9:02pm Report to Moderator
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Mister Col,

hope all is well where you are. Alex  


Quoted from Colkurtz8
Yeah, I'm interested in history in general and the World War II period in particular. Prussia has always been a mysterious place to me because of its rich, glorious history and its early significance in the war.


As a Prussian I don't connect being Prussia with war so much, thankfully. Also, the war era in general seems to be past at the moment, thankfully. It seems we Europeans have stabilized the situation in Europe to this day, thankfully as well

My intention of calling myself Prussian on this board was rather a thought in case of civilization as identification point. Then, I noticed that a lot of people truly connect it with the Prussian war history.

So, that might have not been the best choice by me

The language about the term Prussian should imo be reconsidered. Because it somehow must be considered that it's also connected to the way of civilization in central Europe. For centuries.

I'm talking about everything and beyond from - saying Hello when you enter a room.

My mother was born in Silesia, Poland today. Back in the days, Germany conquered some parts but also bought  a lot of it  from Katherine the Great, from Russia, I think to know.

At ww2 my mom's family chose to leave.

One of my best friends is Polish. His family chose to stay there at the very same time. They originally were Germans, but assimilated to being Polish, became Polish.

Those stories are deep and amazing.

Then I'm not a patriot or nationalist, maybe I'd even would favor a European State (not sure yet, but I tend to, yes). I just respect the ground where I stand on.

For you: as I said, here, we're split in three and we don't understand each other very well. West Germany is insane in a good way. I live in one of the few places of the entire world, where the people say: "You won't leave this place ever". It's that good. And since the open borders, we have the whole continent passing by as well.

That is that. I do love Canadians and USAmericans as well. I had the pleasure to visit the Toronto area, at the millennium break I think. The energy there was just terrific.

Enough. Well, I'm very happy  we signed the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. We're the center here with 10+ neighboring countries I think. My fear for USA is that they can't disarm because of the huge arm industry. Maybe, the crisis give you the opportunity to transform those jobs for the future.





Quoted from Colkurtz8
Nowadays however, the word itself is rarely mentioned since its been subsumed by Germany, Poland and Russia. Hence, the mysteriousness.


Yo. It's gone.

We're close to the Brits though as well. Like from old pagan grave culture to splitting from church, fighting Rome or Napoleons and such.

However, as I said, forget the war times. Although America freed us for sure.

I just want to say that Prussia is a point of identification, especially in case of behavior, reflection of life, communication, forward thinking, freedom.

USA once will have to deal with their immigration history as well. And the bubble of the lucky Irish becoming American will be relativized understanding, What will imo move in the direction of Prussia when it comes to social and philosophical truth. My opinion.


Sorry, for being this long   Then I swore to myself, that I'll answer to you soon. And I thought a lot. Truly.

I knock on wood for you, Col.









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