I read your script, it’s cute and urbane, but I don’t think your primary issue is language, it’s developing a cohesive story with resolve…. that is, something is lacking. What I mean is, there doesn’t appear to be a beginning and end to this, just a snippet if you will, a day in the life of some tame and/or feral creatures waiting out some storm? I digress.

Your writing is definitely there to deliver something unique

Want to really make it (English) shine? Try this… but no, please refrain from using it in its entirety unless you plan on writing prose, or a novel.:

The Elements of Eloquence: How to Turn the Perfect English Phrase.

Adjectives  - “absolutely have to be in this order: writes the author, professional stickler Mark Forsyth:  Opinion-size-age-shape-colour-origin-material-purpose Noun.

So you can have a… “lovely little old rectangular green French silver whittling knife”

But if you mess with that order in the slightest…? Curious things happen. Just a little trick that a native English speaker has incorporated (subconsciously) into their daily vocabulary since birth, probably learned even before they said their first words, strange, I know… but there you have it. English, the mother of all creole languages, so much so, that a 50 year old native English speaker such as myself… still hasn’t any real clue if any of what I just said makes any sense.

That said, best of luck!