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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Thriller Scripts  ›  Karma
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Don
Posted: December 1st, 2019, 4:20pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Karma by Subham Mondal - Short, Thriller - A  junior invites his seniors to his birthday party after one year and they are ignorant of what shock awaits them. 18 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Kirsten
Posted: December 8th, 2019, 6:53am Report to Moderator
Been around a while


Giving up is not an option....

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Hi Subham,

I tried reading this but the bad formatting and writing put me off. I know it's hard to translate to English and it sucks cause that's a whole lot of 'other' work to be done, and can be overlooked if the story is good, but you need to get the formatting right also or no one's going to read this. Read other scripts and search online, the info is out there.

Here's what needs fixing formatting wise in the first action.

It should be INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
The boy is in the kitchen, so the slug needs to state that.  You need to CAPITALIZE all the characters the first time they are introduced and the boy needs a name.

Keep at it, it's all learning, just read other scripts!


"Turn that off, our friend has just been killed in a fatal sunlight accident!"....

'What we do in the Shadows.'
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