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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Thriller Scripts  ›  Law School
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Don
Posted: January 19th, 2020, 1:34pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Law School by William David Glenn IV - Short, Thriller - A potential law student interviews an attorney about his craft, but as their discussion continues his true vengeful motives come to light. 6 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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JohnMcCarthy
Posted: January 31st, 2020, 1:44pm Report to Moderator
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I'm strictly an amateur here, you understand. So you may want to take my comments with a grain of salt. But I thought this was one of the best short scripts I've read since joining the Simply Scripts community.

My only problem was that your log line gave too much away. As soon as Wilson began coughing I suspected poison.

But again, this was a real professional script and a great read.
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MikeCashman
Posted: June 26th, 2020, 2:16pm Report to Moderator
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I was impressed with this script.  Very well written and it kept my interest.  As soon as Wilson began coughing, I also believed that Logan was out for revenge.  How did the interview turn into a turn-around of the table, so to speak.  When Logan was questioning Wilson, and then Wilson began coughing, you knew that there was a plan of "revenge" beginning to happen.  Still, I enjoyed this little script of revenge.  Nice job!!
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BarryJohn
Posted: June 27th, 2020, 5:55am Report to Moderator
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Who am I? A man with a hundred stories..

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Indeed.. Very well written!

I felt sorry for Wilson as he came across sincere in having done his best. Logan, a killer himself.. maybe just like his brother was? That said, it made for a good story.    


Who am I? A man with a hundred stories.. You want to hear one?

I live in the most beautiful country of South Africa. I'm a self employed electronics security technician. I'm four years into script writing ~ trying to make it in this ever competitive  industry.  
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Yuvraj
Posted: June 28th, 2020, 2:28am Report to Moderator
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COUP DE GRACE

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Hi, William,

Nice short revenge drama. That's all I can say. Decent writing too.

Good luck.


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