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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Thriller Scripts  ›  Secondhand Stories
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Don
Posted: February 4th, 2023, 3:58pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Secondhand Stories by Sam McLane - Short, Thriller - A drifter perusing through a thrift store comes across a pair of magical gloves that grant him the ability to live out the memories of the previous owners who donated each item within the store that he touches. 9 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Pleb
Posted: February 5th, 2023, 10:14am Report to Moderator
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Hey Sam,

Nice idea here. I liked it. I think some of the action could be trimmed down a bit for a quicker, easier read but it’s not a big deal.

Good job.

Max


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Samwise
Posted: February 7th, 2023, 12:09pm Report to Moderator
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Appreciate the kind words, Max! Glad you enjoyed. And you're right—I do tend to get a little wordy with my action lines, could definitely use some trimming.

Thanks,
Sam
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