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I'm not sure if I understand this correctly. It took me several reads to figure it all out.
The ending has a nice twist to it. It's just that the last line that the older brother says needs a little more clarification. If it's there, I missed it. I know or at least I think I know what you are trying to achieve, I just don't have any suggestions to make it more clear without making it too clear.
I normally don't like stories with a narrator but you make it work.
This one had a nice twist to it. What I liked was that the Older Brother's (V.O.) was geared toward Oliver, so I expected something to happen to Oliver. Not a big fan of too many (V.O.), but it works here, maybe scale back a little, expose less. I got a bit confused toward the end. You have two locations with the same name in your slug (SHED). By having two different names, it might expose what you're trying to do or disguise, but it makes it more clear for the reader, less confusion.
The "hyphen" in your slugs is off. No need with OUTSIDE or INSIDE in slugs, EXT. or INT. takes care of that. No need to repeat in Action what has been established in slug (EX: cafe and some more).
FADE IN: should be on the left and transitions like DISSOLVE TO: is used more in production scripts, not that much in Spec scripts. the way it's written, close-up is not needed, just show the door.
Tighten up your Action, remove any fillers like "there can be no escape, a young boy, etc.)
Stick with names instead of "a man and a woman trapped."
It started out as a drama, ended as a Thriller. The twist was good. If possible, maybe build it up more until the reveal.