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Thanks for taking a look. Yeah, I starting doing my dialogue like this after seeing several other scripts with this similar format. I hate how Final Draft makes the dialogue margins look so sloppy, so I started doing it manually on Word.
Thanks for the positive comments! I got beat up pretty bad on Amazon Studios with a three out of five star review. I think it's my best script, but its getting the worst marks of all my stuff. Go figure
Would you like to tackle a rewrite and possibly resubmit to Amazon as co-writers? It seems you "get" the story, but understand where the format needs work. I would be interested in someone else taking a crack at format. I'm too burnt to tackle a rewrite and I could use a fresh set of eyes.
Are you interested? I actually LOVE this story, but was very confused on how to properly convey these ideas on paper so they make sense to whoever reads it. I think I over did the action and descriptions because I thought the reader would get lost with all the multiple stories.
I can honestly say that I've been struggling with "spec style" as of late. I haven't written anything in almost three years and having a tough time getting back into the swing. I'm trying to learn how to write less action and keep my descriptions brief, but not dull.
Hi Jack - sorry, been away from the boards - I kind of would like to take a look, but I haven't got major amounts of time on my hands - I'm working on a couple of features at the moment (not mine) - so if you are in no rush, then yeah - I'll pm my email over to you and we can have a go.
The story and dialogue are pretty much the same, but Simon really trimmed the format and made it more spec ready. I might fix up some of the story contrivances a bit later, but letting this one rest for now. It could use a bit more work.
I had never heard of Write to Reel, but it looks like a pretty cool little site.
I was surprised to see Simon's name along with yours here. I take it you brought him in as a collab?
47 out of 100 is definitely tough to swallow, but haven't you been saying for a long time there were problems here you couldn't do away with? What surprised me more was that bigfoot script, Sawtooth, received a 46, and it was very, very poorly written.
I think their grading scale is fairly well thought out, but like everything, it has its problems, and getting an 80 or higher looks to be pretty tough at best.
Hey as you know, you can't please everyone. Good luck with it going forward.
To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
When it comes right down to it, you should judge a script on whether or not it will make a good film. The script is not without its problems, but 47% is hard to accept given the fact that a sasquatch running through the woods received the same score.
I was surprised to see Simon's name along with yours here.
Thank-you Jeff. You do my ego no end of good.
Yeah - I had mixed feelings about the review - they're a couple of guys who have an idea of what they're about, but they're not industry pro's.
Eric knows my take on what they said - whilst I don't think they've got it right, I think they've helped highlight some of the issues that can improve things, so I still think the script's on an upward trajectory.
BTW - it's still 90% Eric's work - I just tightened it up some.