SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
Welcome, Guest.
It is January 26th, 2022, 5:36am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship

Produced Script Database (Updated!)

The January Project!
If you want access to the January Project, click here

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the and domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Thriller Scripts  ›  Obsession with an Older Woman Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Obsession with an Older Woman  (currently 2417 views)
Posted: February 22nd, 2013, 6:08pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

Posts Per Day
Obsession with an Older Woman by Divij Kak - Thriller - This is the story of Jack Hinckley’s obsession with an older woman (Marian Thatcher). Jack is a seventeen year old high school graduate who gets hired by the Thatcher family but in the process falls madly in love with Marian Thatcher and due to circumstances tries to murder her. Will Jack be able to murder her and tear a family apart? 72 pages - pdf, format

Visit for what is new on the site.

You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Site Private Message
Posted: February 22nd, 2013, 6:46pm Report to Moderator
Guest User

Divij, get some screenwriting software. Right now, the formatting's all over the place.

The "synopsis" page is completely unnecessary. "ACT 1" is only for TV scripts, so you can get rid of that. No need for "Scene 1".

You've got a lot of unfilmables, a bad slug, and big chunks of dialogue. Sorry, but I'm not going to go past the first page.

I suggest reading about format online (lots of resources out there) and get your hands on some screenplays for a better grasp of how it's done. Sorry to be harsh...

e-mail Reply: 1 - 2
Posted: February 22nd, 2013, 8:16pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients

Yes, that is my real hair...

Cave Creek, AZ
Posts Per Day
And...sorry to say, but the logline is horrific.  Maybe English isn't your first language, and if so, I understand.

To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
Private Message Reply: 2 - 2
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Thriller Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on

Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006