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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    The 2018 Writers' Tournament  ›  Mugged - WT Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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Don
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 11:26am Report to Moderator
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Administrator


So, what are you writing?

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Virginia
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Mugged by 0 - Short, Comedy - Writing can be burdensome - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work




Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (1 edits)
Grandma Bear  -  May 24th, 2022, 3:20pm
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Steven
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 11:31am Report to Moderator
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Meta af

4/5
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Gary in Houston
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 12:10pm Report to Moderator
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Okay, I confess — I laughed.  Especially at the ending.  Good job here. And Steven’s right. Very meta.

Best of luck,
Gary


Some of my scripts:

Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly
I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner
The Gambler (short) - OWC winner
Skip (short) - filmed
Country Road 12 (short) - filmed
The Family Man (short) - filmed
The Journeyers (feature) - optioned

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eldave1
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 12:39pm Report to Moderator
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Ah - the bane of our existence.  Relevant for sure.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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JEStaats
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 1:37pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer


No sh*t, there I was....

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I don't git it. This is total fiction as a reel writer KNOWS that there werk rox!

Heh heh. Luv'd it.
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HyperMatt
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 1:50pm Report to Moderator
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Wasn't expecting that. Nice tongue in cheek story. Was quite funny, the 'goodest'. Made me laugh in places. This deserves to go a few rounds in the comp, if not win.


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MarkItZero
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 1:54pm Report to Moderator
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That was epic.


That rug really tied the room together.
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Zombie Sean
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 2:06pm Report to Moderator
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Got a laugh out of me! Loved it, especially the near end.


BOO-NANA BREAD
From ghosts and zombies, to witches and swamp things, this banana bread will scare you silly, and leave you wanting more!
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jayrex
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 2:17pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer


Cut to three weeks earlier

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This one was certainly inspired!  Good job!


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PrussianMosby
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 2:20pm Report to Moderator
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Mugged

I liked the irony and the overall direction isn't bad, (good fourth wall breaking regarding the brevity of the very short the viewer is actually watching that moment… kind of). But a real out of this challenge form would have been doable, and actually, I believe, be much more entertaining, even justify a production perhaps.
3



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PKCardinal
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 3:42pm Report to Moderator
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Captured me perfectly.

Well done.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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ScottM
Posted: April 2nd, 2018, 6:06pm Report to Moderator
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Very good. I laughed just thinking about you guys.


Any thoughts on my work in progress would be appreciated.

The Digger

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1521688645/s-0/#num2
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Warren
Posted: April 3rd, 2018, 3:01am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


A man who has taught his mind to misbehave

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That damn mug, one-day it will be mine!!!

Well written and a fun little story.

I'm 99.9% sure I know who wrote this.

Well done.


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Stumpzian
Posted: April 3rd, 2018, 12:29pm Report to Moderator
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I didn't really want to like this because it uses an old device writers fall back on when they can't think of what write about. That is, write about not having anything to write about.
But, you turned it around for me. And everyone here can relate.



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SAC
Posted: April 3rd, 2018, 7:22pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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Very good! Haha. Reminds me of me lately.

I’ve read three or four of these so far, and not a lousy one in the bunch.

Good job, writer.

Steve


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