Here’s an action-oriented sequence I’ve been editing a lot lately. It's from my unfinished feature-length script and takes place during the end of Act II. Please read and let me know what you think.

Title: Iconic
Genre: Science-Fiction
Logline: A flamboyant musician abandons his morals to achieve superstardom and competes with other celebrities for supernatural powers reserved for the most famous.

Script:https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TDryHAUH9qcFcsv-mZPyPO8SqBA1O0dL/view?usp=sharing

It's fine - I guess. Out of context it's really hard to tell.

You are probably better off if you had posted the first 5 or 10 so we can get a feel for the story. Read the logline but it's a bit generic.

Quoted Text The youngest recruit, Hostile Hue, flattens dead in a pool of his blood, like a ton of bricks fell from high onto his head.

Quoted Text The second recruit, Joseph, shouts. He aims and swings his right arm forward with might at his opponent, Master Derang.

Not sure why you feel the need to include these - this has already been established.

Ghost

Thank you! I like to try making every scene or sequence of my scripts potentially entertaining to readers. This is a science-fiction script and I think those especially need to (or should) entertain in each scene.

I was wondering if the reminders were necessary. This battle sequence and its short set-up are the only times the recruits are in the screenplay. I will take those reminders out and consider removing others to see if I prefer those edits.

I removed the reminders (apart from the mention of Hostile Hue being the youngest recruit) and think those parts are much better now! That's good advice, thanks.