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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    My Work In Progress  ›  How to write an alien ship taking someone hostage/ Moderators: bert
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  Author    How to write an alien ship taking someone hostage/  (currently 151 views)
scrawlx101
Posted: July 7th, 2023, 1:16am Report to Moderator
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So as a basis for the short film I'm writing, its about a young man who disguises himself as an electrician to infiltrate the house of the politician he feels is responsible for his wife's disappearance - my main problem is how to communicate her disappearance seeing as she is vanished from existence courtesy of an alien ship.

So far I have:

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

SIA MATTHEWS (25) watches KANE snore heavily on the couch. She snuggles up close to him.

Kane is still snoring.

Sia waves a hand up and down.

Still nothing.

Sia checks her phone: no internet.

Sia stares at Kane, a smile curling on her lips.

She flicks his nose.

Kane bolts up.

KANE

Who's there?

Sia snorts.

Kane glares at Sia.

KANE

Why did you --

Sia grabs Kane's chin.

KANE

Okay, is this what we're doing --

SIA

I could do with some chopped fruit.

Kane double takes.

KANE

Really? That's what you woke me up for?

SIA

It's for the baby.

Kane softens slightly as he stares at Sia's stomach.

SIA

I'll let you feel the kick. After all, with the world going to pieces having a healthy baby is our top priority right?

KANE

I guess but not like the kid's going to have much of a future thanks to these mysterious overlords --

Sia claps her hand and shakes her head.

Kane sighs.

KANE

Your right. Happy thoughts only.

SIA

I know that's right! Anyway. What's on the menu chef?

Kane lets out a drawn out sigh, a smile on his face.

KANE

Fine. Any special requests?

SIA

Oranges.

KANE

Coming right up.

Kane heaves himself up from the couch. Sia grabs his arm and kisses his hand.

Kane pulls away in good humour and strides towards the corridor.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

Kane grabs a pair of oranges and unripens them.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

Sia reaches for the remote but sweats bullets.

She slowly heaves herself out of her seat, rubbing her stomach.

Sia slowly hobbles to the corridor and peeks at Kane dancing as he chops the oranges.

Sia smiles.

SIA

Gosh, he's such a keeper.

Sia waddles towards the back garden door.

We see a phone on the table vibrate and read the following message:

'Erasure imminent. Do not go outdoors'.

INT. CORRIDOR - DAY

Kane walks with a beaming smile on his face, holding a bowl of chopped oranges.

A large FLASH OF LIGHT.

Kane drops the bowl and scrambles towards the living room.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

Kane bursts into the living room. Eyes darting everywhere, Sia is nowhere to be found.

We hear a laugh.

Kane looks up and smiles as Sia points at him through the glass doors of the back garden.

SIA

You really thought I got erased? Please, the government wish they could get rid of me!

Kane slowly walks closer towards the door when...Sia warps out of existence.

Kane stumbles back as if he's taken a punch to the gut. His eyes widen in shock as it slowly dawns on him.

Sia has been ERASED.

My main questions are:

How would I adjust this to be more vivid?

Any movies which have done the whole beamed up by an alien force on a low budget?

Any other advice I would be grateful for?

Also, for a short film would it be better to start from the point of the revenge taking place - with Kane already infiltrating the politician's house or do you think I need this exposition for the first act?
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