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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Story of the Upper Limb Moderators: bert
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  Author    Story of the Upper Limb  (currently 780 views)
Don
Posted: April 26th, 2006, 7:46am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Story of the Upper Limb by Joseph Cahill - Short - Wonder what God is up to? 12 pages - doc, format


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spencerforhire
Posted: April 28th, 2006, 9:35am Report to Moderator
Been around a while


Write NOW! Perfect LATER!

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Joseph

Ok I kept waiting for the hook to drop. It never did. Your story had no inciting incident, irony, or twist. It was just god playing solitare and spouting off medical terms. Good discription of the terms... but no meat to the story. It would be much better if you gave it a twist or some irony of god playing solitare.

Maybe he is gambling with the devil over a heated match of seven card stud. If he wins the upper limb is perfect if he loses the upper limb becomes mutated and all kinds of bad things happpen to the human race. Just a thought.

Spencer


I got nothing.  
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medstudent
Posted: April 29th, 2006, 10:57am Report to Moderator
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Spencer,
Thanks for the read and the post. You know, this script was originally written for a project at school. A professor wanted me to write something so that students would be able to remember the bones of the upper limb a little easier. Thatīs the reason itīs filled with anatomy jargon and it really doesnīt have a hook...I wasnīt planning on posting it at SS but decided to anyways. Thanks for the ideas, as well...

Joseph


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