SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
Welcome, Guest.
It is January 17th, 2021, 12:04am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion forum, please send me a message. There is no online registration. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship

Produced Script Database (Updated!)
Items of Note:

Yes, I am running script reviews, again...
find a good Script and write a review!

Scripts Studios Are Posting For 2021 Award Consideration

I'm not ignoring you. Check your spam folder.

The January Project!
If you want access to the January Project, click here

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the and domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  The Perfect Couple Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    The Perfect Couple  (currently 1598 views)
Posted: January 15th, 2009, 12:09am Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

Posts Per Day
The Perfect Couple by Karen (kalyhan) - Comedy, Romantic Comedy - Sometimes, only your best friend can help you realize you’re about to marry the wrong guy.  As an added bonus, your best friend may just happen to be the right guy. 116 pages - pdf, format

Visit for what is new on the site.

SimplyScripts Masks can be purchased at:
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  February 22nd, 2009, 3:15pm
Site Private Message
Posted: January 18th, 2009, 8:46pm Report to Moderator

Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas
Posts Per Day
Hey, Kalyhan, I thought that this script was a heartfelt story that was well told between the characters. The beginning was a bit long but the script was very good. Keep up the good work.

Good Luck in the future,


Those who believe that they are the best, the most popular, the go to guy, those are usually the ones who need the most help.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 4
Posted: January 20th, 2009, 10:26pm Report to Moderator

Posts Per Day
Uh, improper line spacing, light (Courier New?) font, huge blocks of description filled with unfilmable or irrelevant information, way too many parentheticals (why do I have to keep writing that?), a short script (times out to about 79 minutes), typos (eg. midday is one word), improper page breaks (leaving the character's name dangling) ... to name a few.

If you were planning to enter any contests or have any idea about catching the attention of anyone with this script, you'll have to make it look a lot more professional than this.

As for the story, I didn't read too far but I'm guessing it has something to do with a platonic relationship between a man and woman that turns romantic.  It's an interesting premise even if it has been done before.  The opening dialogue seemed slow and cliched.  The first few pages are the most important so I would work on something that's going to catch people's attention.

"It's just a rehash of something that wasn't very good to begin with.  I found it flat and trite..."  Sunset Boulevard (1950).
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 4
Posted: January 21st, 2009, 3:20am Report to Moderator
Old Timer

My UZI Weighs A Ton

Northern Hemisphere
Posts Per Day

Quoted Text
Jack & Clarise have been best friends since college.  They talk about everything.  Jack and Clarise are also next-door neighbors.  They share a morning coffee ritual on their adjoining balconies.

That's just about the most non-selling logline I've ever read. A logline should really be an appetizer for the script. Think of it almost as a trailer. You have to hook the readers right away.

Down in the hole / Jesus tries to crack a smile / Beneath another shovel load
Private Message Reply: 3 - 4
Posted: February 6th, 2009, 8:48pm Report to Moderator
Guest User

Thanks for all the feedback.  It IS appreciated!  I guess I will have to edit it accordingly.

I can write just about anything except a logline.  I realize it should catch the reader's attention, but for some reason, it seems difficult to me to write a small line or two from an entire script or book or anything really.

Any ideas?
e-mail Reply: 4 - 4
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Comedy Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on

Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006