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EXT. GABRIEL'S MANSION If the grass is always greener on the other side, then this is the other side. A beautifully manicured garden sweeps up to spectacular stone edifice. It's unbelievable that anyone could afford to live in this house.
CHERUB “CHERRY" CHAMBERS, twenty-eight and still smokin’ hot, pulls up the long drive, parks in the turn around. As she leaves the car she is taken aback by the beauty and immensity of the place.
INT. FOYER A fabulous entryway, one you would expect from this mansion. The doorbell rings with fanfare. GABRIEL, twenty-eight, looks in a mirror and practices his Hollywood smile as he rushes down to do his hostly duty.
A moment of uncomfortable and self-conscious silence as two old friends realise they have nothing to say to one another.
Then Gabriel’s acting lessons kick in. He smiles his practiced smile.
GABRIEL Cherub “Cherry” Chambers! You look great.
Cherry should have been an actress too.
CHERRY It’s Cher now.
And she mimics a moment of HALF-BREED to which Gabriel has nothing to say.
GABRIEL Very good.
He claps politely. Cherry wanders in, in awe.
CHERRY Not really. You should know, I have no talent, but you do, Gabriel. Loved your movies, well, I only actually saw one, but I…this house is fantastic.
He closes the door. Cherry turns toward him. Another moment of awkward silence.
CHERRY Anybody else here?
GABRIEL Not yet.
Even more awkward silence. Cherry looks around.
CHERRY Did I tell you this is fantastic house?
GABRIEL Yes.
CHERRY That’s because it is.
GABRIEL Thank…
The doorbell rings. Thank God.
CHERRY Yay! Someone’s here!
A grimace at Cherry from Gabriel but it doesn’t stop him hurrying to the door and opening it. Cherry can’t see who it is. More practiced smiles from Gabriel.
GABRIEL Jimmy!
The name hits Cherry like a hot wind.
CHERRY Jimmy?
JIMMY, twenty-eight, still looks like a boy scout, stands outside the door. Then he reaches in and gives Gabriel a big heartfelt hug.
JIMMY Gabriel!
Gabriel isn’t certain how to react but he manages to act his way through it.
Then Jimmy spots Cherry. The spark fly. Jimmy forgets about Gabriel.
JIMMY Cherry?! You haven’t aged a day…
CHERRY Sure I have.
JIMMY You’re still just a beautiful as the day I met you.
CHERRY You think. Really?
JIMMY Really.
And they hug. Gabriel watches uncomfortably. When Jimmy pulls in a bit closer to Cherry and they kiss, Gabriel clears his throat.
GABRIEL I have food to prepare. So why don’t the two of you go upstairs, find your rooms and -- and -- unpack.
They don’t seem to hear.
GABRIEL I’ll be in the kitchen.
He waits a moment, then exits.
INT. KITCHEN The kitchen is big enough and stainless steel enough to feed an army. The blender whirs green stuff. Gabriel is at the refrigerator where he pulls out a large plate of appetizer when the door bell rings.
He places the plates on the island countertop and turns off the blender when the door bell rings again. He exits.
INT. FOYER The door is opened by Gabriel and RODDY “BURNER” BURNSIDE, twenty-eight, stands tall and imposingly just outside.
BURNER Gabriel! Gabriel! Gabriel!
Gabriel smiles.
GABRIEL Burner! Burner! Burner!
BURNER Just Rod now. Great house! How come the butler didn’t answer?
GABRIEL I wanted it to be…
CHERRY (O.S) Did I hear the voice of a Burner?
BURNER Is that Cherry? Who else is here?
Burner pushes past Gabriel, who is used to it now, and hurries in. Jimmy and Cherry walk down a large staircase.
All, except Gabriel, revel in name sharing.
INT. KITCHEN Three stand next to the island. They laugh and munch on appetizer while Gabriel hands out perfect Margaritas. Gabriel hands one to Burner but Burner refuses. This action catches everyone’s attention. .
BURNER I became sober months ago.
And everyone, including Gabriel, laughs.
CHERRY You’re so funny, Burner.
He tries to hand the drink to Burner again only to have it refused.
BURNER You see me laughing? All the drinking and all the drugs, it was making my life crazy. I couldn’t handle it anymore so, I stopped.
Mood spoiled. Then Jimmy clears his throat.
JIMMY A toast. To Burner’s sobriety.
Everyone’s all “Here, Here” except Cherry.
CHERRY I’ll drink to that.
INT. LIVING ROOM Several chairs and couches are placed in small conversational groups. A small, well-stocked bar sits in the back of the room.
Cherry and Jimmy sit very close together on the couch. You can feel the electricity between them.
CHERRY …and you never said a word?
JIMMY Never. I wanted to. Oh, man, you were incredible. You are incredible.
They move a bit closer and kiss. Burner enters the room and clears his throat.
BURNER Am I interrupting something?
CHERRY AND JIMMY Yes!
Cherry and Jimmy scoot away from one another.
BURNER Good.
He sits on the sofa right in the middle of them. They have to scoot over even more. He puts his arms around them and shakes them.
BURNER It’s so good to be here with my old, old friends.
CHERRY You too Burn -- Rod, even if you are still a pain in the…
The doorbell rings.
BURNER Ooo! Someone else is here. Want to go see who it is?
Both Cherry and Jimmy shake their heads.
BURNER Guess I’ll just have to go on my ownsome.
Burner stands and leaves the room. Cherry and Jimmy stare at each other in amazement then they break into a laugh.
INT. FOYER Darnell, twenty-nine, looking a bit like a lollipop - skinny as a stick with a big afro on top, stands inside the doorway. He profusely shakes hand with Gabriel. He is obviously stoned.
DARNELL …good to be invited. You look great, so does the house. Who else is….
Burner enters. Gabriel give him a look that says “help”. Burner turns to leave and he’s almost made it when.
DARNELL BURNER! BURNER! BURNER!
And Darnell grabs him at the waist and gives him a big hug from behind. Burner watches Gabriel escape toward the kitchen.
Burner, not enjoying the affections, squirms out from Darnell’s grip and turns around.
BURNER Darnell. Good to see you.
DARNELL I knew you were coming man.
Darnell pats his bag.
DARNELL I brought lots of goodies.
BURNER I don’t do that stuff anymore.
DARNELL What stuff?
BURNER Any stuff. I don’t burn anymore so don’t call me Burner. It’s Rod now.
Darnell laughs.
DARNELL Wicked! You still got it man. You’re sense of humour is legendary.
BURNER It’s not a joke!
DARNELL It’s not? You mean you’re really sober.
Burner nods.
DARNELL Well, that won’t last long. So, tell you what.
Darnell opens his bag and fishes around.
DARNELL I got some Ekkys in here. The perfect cure for sobriety.
Burner rolls his eyes.
Revision History (4 edits; 1 reasons shown)
mcornetto - December 2nd, 2009, 4:45pm
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mcornetto
Posted: October 16th, 2009, 3:26am
Guest User
2
INT. STUDY Gabriel walks into the study as his phone rings. He picks it up.
GABRIEL Hello, Gabriel speaking. (beat) Hey, Johnny my man, how are ya?
INT. KITCHEN Darnell leans on the bench. Burner listens to him, bored.
DARNELL And I ended up spending the night on a bench, which wasn’t actually as bad as you would think. Because I grabbed some leaves, and if you place the leaves in the right spot -
Gabriel enters the room as he puts his mobile in his pocket. Burner seems relieved.
GABRIEL Johnny’s gonna be late. Something about his Mum taking a wrong turn or something.
BURNER Typical.
A giggling Cherry enters with Jimmy in arm. They part as they see the others.
CHERRY May we have another drink please, dear Gabriel?
Gabriel nods and goes to work.
An awkward silence, which is broken by Jimmy coughing.
JIMMY I think I might have a cold.
DARNELL I think I have a tablet or two to fix that!
Everyone except Burner laughs.
Burner pours water from a jug into a glass.
JIMMY I think I’ll pass thanks, who knows what tablets you have!
Every except Burner laughs again. Gabriel passes a drink to Cherry and Jimmy.
CHERRY I suddenly feel quite parched!
Cherry brings the glass to her lips and empties it. Everyone laughs.
INT. FOYER Jean-Marie walks straight through the open front door. She looks up at the high ceiling.
Pause.
JEAN-MARIE Nice.
She takes out a camera and takes a photo of it.
Jean-Marie walks towards the stairs as Cherry bursts into the foyer.
CHERRY Jeanie!
Cherry sprints towards Jean-Marie and hugs her. Jean-Marie is taken aback.
INT. KITCHEN Darnell talks to Gabriel.
DARNELL I brought coke especially, as I’ve heard that’s what you actors have. Or is that just porn stars? I was watching this doco the other day, and the love it. Probably not as much as cock, but close. (beat) And that goes for everyone too, if you want some, just ask.
Everyone smiles as Cherry enters with Jean-Marie.
BURNER Hey Jeana.
GABRIEL Hey Jeana, welcome to my house. Drink?
JEAN-MARIE Jean-Marie.
GABRIEL Sorry? Is that with tequila, or...?
JEAN-MARIE My name. It’s Jean-Marie, not Jeana. And I would like it if everyone called me by my proper name please.
Awkward silence. Cherry rolls her eyes at Jimmy.
Everyone breaks the silence at once, agreeing to Jean-Maries request. Jean-Marie smiles.
JEAN-MARIE (CONT’D) Great. Good to be here Gabriel.
She turns to the others.
JEAN-MARIE (CONT’D) Have you guys seen the pond? It’s really beautiful.
Darnell turns to Gabriel.
DARNELL Pond? How come I haven’t heard about this?! (to Jean-Marie) Lead the way!
Jean-Marie grabs Jimmy’s drink, and walks out of the room with Darnell.
JIMMY She stole my drink!
GABRIEL I’ll make you another -
CHERRY Me too, please!
GABRIEL Sure. Then a tour of the house?
BURNER That would be grande, my dear man! I’ve been wanting to check this place out fully for ages. I’ll lead the way!
Burner runs off.
INT. FOYER Jimmy listen as Gabriel talks and points to a large painting which hangs on the wall.
GABRIEL Handed down in the family for generations. Very important and special to all involved. Not my family, but I have adopted it as my own.
Gabriel chuckles quietly at his little joke.
JIMMY And the stairs? Have they been redone, or is that original?
GABRIEL Well -
Loud music interrupts Gabriel. It sounds like it’s coming from another room.
GABRIEL (CONT’D) What the hell?
INT. HOME THEATER ROOM Gabriel enters to find Burner jumping around the room, and Darnell in a chair laughing at him.
BURNER (to Gabriel) Great sound quality you got here man!
GABRIEL What?
Gabriel grabs the remote and turns the sound down. Burner stops dancing.
BURNER Oh come on, don’t ruin the party.
GABRIEL There are other people in this house, not just you.
BURNER Darnell was enjoying it too, weren’t you, man?
Darnell laughs.
DARNELL I was just enjoying laughing at you dancing!
Cherry and Jean-Marie enter.
BURNER Guys, guys, guys, you were just a few seconds to late!
Jean-Marie looks at Gabriel. Gabriel clears his throat and looks away.
BURNER (CONT’D) Wow, tensions are high! Awkward!
Gabriel huffs and turns to Burner.
GABRIEL You know what, I am so sick -
The doorbell rings. Gabriel sighs and exits the room.
Gabriel opens the door to reveal FRANCESCA (28, beautiful)
GABRIEL Can I help you?
FRANCESCA Don't you recognize me?
Francesca pouts. Gabriel shakes his head.
FRANCESCA Let me give you a hint. Drive-in movie...
Gabriel still doesn't get it.
FRANCESCA I lost my virginity to you.
Gabriel is taken aback. Then he gets it, sort of.
GABRIEL Frances?
Frances smiles and nods. She throws her arms out in a girly pose.
FRANCESCA Francesca. I had a sex change.
Her arms move down to cover her crotch like a painting of Venus.
FRANCESCA It's not complete though.
Then she gets serious.
FRANCESCA How do I look?
Gabriel smiles.
GABRIEL You look absolutely gorgeous!
FRANCESCA I so happy you think so.
Francesca throws her arms around Gabriel and kisses him on the cheek.
INT. HOME THEATER ROOM
Gabriel and Francesca enter, arm in arm.
JIMMY You've been holding out on us. Who's she?
Cherry knows but says nothing, she watches for the reaction
Burner drinks eyeing Francesca like a snake does his dinner.
Gabriel Let me introduce Francesca.
BURNER, JIMMY, DARNELL Hello, Nurse!
Then Gabriel smiles evilly.
GABRIEL aka Frances.
Burner spits, catching everyone’s attention. There is an awkward moment.
DARRNELL Frances?
CHERRY She had a sex change.
FRANCESCA Surprise.
Cherry runs over to give her a hug.
INT. FOYER The door opens. Johnny enters, jovially, carrying in a duffle bag.
JOHNNY Hello...Anyone?
His listens. He hears VOICES down the hall.
He hears Cherry’s voice.
JOHNNY (to himself) Cherry?
He hurries off down the hall.
INT. HOME THEATER ROOM
Johnny enters to spy Cherry as she hugs Francesca.
Jimmy notices him, smiles, waves him over.
Johnny asks 'Who’s Francesca?' with the raise of an eyebrow and Jimmy mouths the word “Frances”.
CHERRY Johnny, good to see you.
She hugs him. Johnny’s eyes close in bliss.
She gives him a peck on the cheek then she lets go.
JOHNNY Good to see you...
But it's too late Cherry has already rushed over to Jimmy’s side. She grabs Jimmy’s hand and gives him a kiss on the lips.
Johnny’s furious.
FRANCES Hello, Johnny.
JOHNNY Hi.
FRANCES How’s everything?
JOHNNY It sucks.
FRANCES Obviously, not well enough.
JOHNNY Pardon.
FRANCES Never mind. Cheer up, dunderhead.
She touches Johnny shoulder, in support. Johnny yanks his shoulder away. Francesca is a bit insulted.
JOHNNY I'm sorry I'm just not in the mood for this I guess.
Johnny turns and leaves.
CHERRY What do you think got into him? I'll go see if he's ok?
JIMMY No, I'll go, you stay here.
Jimmy rushes off.
Gabriel comes over. He takes Francesca's hand.
FRANCESA I don't think Johnny likes me anymore.
GABRIEL He never liked you.
FRANCESCA Oh! That's true. Isn't it?
And they laugh.
BURNER (O.S.) Gabriel,
Burner stands in front of the sound system. And let's just say we can tell he's been drinking.
BURNER Everyone's here.
GABRIEL Alright then. Everyone let’s go to the living room we'll be much more comfortable there.
Everyone exits except Gabriel and Burner.
GABRIEL Move.
BURNER What?
GABRIEL Get out.
BURNER But it's time to crank up the tunes.
GABRIEL I don’t want you to play with my sound system, you have a habit of breaking things when your drunk.
BURNER Drunk?
GABRIEL Just go.
Burner spoofs.
BURNER Yes, Dad.
And he leaves. Gabriel follows, turning out the lights as he leaves.
INT. LIVING ROOM
GABRIEL It’s good to have you all here. I hope everyone will have a good time at this very special reunion. Mi Casa, Su Casa, so feel free to do as you please. Except Burner, Burner needs to ask permission.
Cherry give Burner a slap on the shoulder.
BURNER He thinks he's my father.
GABRIEL As far as the evenings activities go, well I do have plans only I'd like to surprise you with them, if you would allow me.
FRANCESCA Can't you give us a hint?
CHERRY Pleaze!
GABRIEL No. I have several bedrooms available so go pick your rooms. I didn’t assign anyone a specific room.
FRANCESCA What time do you want us back?
GABRIEL When you're hungry, say about 8:00.
DARNELL I bet the caterer's bring a fantastic feast.
GABRIEL I’m going to cook.
BURNER Oh no! That's it, we're all dead.
FRANCESCA I bet Gabriel is a great cook. Oh my, I must be tipsy already I almost said cock.
The girls laugh the boy's are a bit uncomfortable.
Gabriel and Francesca share a look. The group separates.
RING. Darnell goes through his pocket and takes out his cellphone. Looking at it, he shrugs and puts it back.
INT. GUEST ROOM (JOHNNY)
Johnny throws his duffle bag on the bed and starts unloading it.
Jimmy enters.
JIMMY Huh? All the rooms are the same?
Johnny reverses things and packs again. His lips turn to thin lines.
JIMMY Where do you think you're going?
JOHNNY The fuck away from here?
Jimmy grabs Johnny's arm, spins him around.
JIMMY Just what is your problem.
Johnny pushes Jimmy away.
JOHNNY You're my problem.
And pushes again. Jimmy raises his hands for peace. Johnny stares him down.
JIMMY What'd I do?
JOHNNY You couldn't wait to get your hands on her, could you?
Johnny's breathing heavy now.
JIMMY Who?
JOHNNY Oh! Give me a break.
JIMMY I don't know.
JOHNNY Cherry!
INT. GUEST WING
Darnell strolls quietly down the hall until...
JIMMY (O.S.) Cherry? Well...uh....we always had this great relationship and...
Darnell stops in front of the open door.
JOHNNY I knew it...I fucking knew it...
JIMMY knew what?
Darnell listens closely.
INT. GUEST ROOM (JOHNNY)
JOHNNY Knew coming here was a waste of time.
Johnny turns and walks to his duffel. He starts packing again.
JIMMY Come on man, don't do this.
Johnny's hand closes around the ring box, he lifts it up and opens it.
JIMMY If I offended you somehow, I'm sorry. But please don't leave, it would spoil the weekend for...
Johnny turns, the open case in his hand, the ring sparkles in the light.
JIMMY I was planning to propose to her.
INT. GUEST WING
Darnell’s eyes go wide as he sees the ring.
JIMMY (O.S.) Propose? Uh -- that's fantastic.
JOHNNY (O.S.) I’m not going to anymore. Not after what I saw.
JIMMY (O.S.) That meant nothing. Believe me. Cherry and I are and always have been just friends.
JOHNNY (O.S.) She was my first love.
Darnell almost bursts into laughter but maintains control of it. He strolls away.
JIMMY (O.S.) All the more reason not to quit. The Johnny I know was no quitter.
4 INT. GUEST WING Jeana walks into Darnell as she exits her room. She's clearly agitated.
Darnell won't let her past. He stalls her rush with his devious smile of frivolity.
DARNELL Where ya goin' so fast, Sugar Plum?
JEANA Not now Darnell. I gotta-
Darnell reveals a doobie.
DARNELL Huh? Huh?
Jeana shakes her head. Still anxious.
DARNELL (CONT'D) It'll be like old times...
She rubs her eye for relief. Looks up to him. There's a moment.
JEANA Not now. Everything's so messed.
DARNELL How's this for messed? I just heard Johnny say he wanted to propose to Cherry this weekend. He's got a big diamond ring. Big enough to see from the hallway into the the bedroom--
JEANA You sure you're not smoking already? Let me see your eyes.
Darnell opens his eyes wide.
JEANA (CONT'D) They look okay to me.
DARNELL Come see for yourself. Jimmy and Johnny could probably use a referee right about now...
JEANA I don't know Darnell--
Her cell phone rings. She doesn't bother to look at the caller ID and takes the call.
JEANA (CONT'D) Hey it's me! Is father alright?
Darnell starts pulling Jeana along while she talks.
Jeana converses with the voice on the other end while being shuttled around the corner by Darnell.
JEANA (CONT'D) No this can't be. I shouldn't have left him. I have to leave.
Jeana BREAKS FREE from Darnell. Darnell stands, as she disappears around the corner.
He shrugs. Heads to the pond.
INT. LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER Gabriel and Burner engage in animated conversation.
GABRIEL So I asked myself: How do I play a conman when I'm a lousy con?
BURNER So what did ya do?
Gabriel's eyes alight.
GABRIEL Pretended I was Darnell!
They both have a good laugh when
Behind them, the sound of pitter patter steps clicking the hardwood floors.
Crash in their world! Gabriel sees Jeana's anxiety and shouts.
GABRIEL (CONT'D) Jeana!
His voice, so loud and commanding and an apparent coincidence when a SIREN PASSES IN THE DISTANCE from the street outside.
Jeana's an energetic ball of fire and fear as she tries to escape PAST GABRIEL'S CLUTCHES.
Jeana shakes her head "no", ranting about her step father.
JEANA He's dying, Gabriel!
Ad-lib as Jeana's words fall together: Dying-and-I-left-him-when-he-needed-me-dying-I-don't-know-what-I-was-thinking dy-
At this compressed moment, Gabriel shouts even louder:
GABRIEL Jeana! Sto...op!
THIS causes the others in the mansion to AWAKE from their individual affairs.
INTERCUT:
INT. GUEST ROOM (JOHNNY) Both Johnny and Jimmy look up and jump to action, racing towards the sound of what is erupting as an argument.
EXT. POND Darnell sits peacefully upon the bench smoking his doobie alone. The birds chirp. He takes his shoes and socks off and dips his feet in the pond.
INT. GUEST WING Cherry and Francis catch up behind Johnny and Jimmy, all racing towards the stairs where the sound of the argument grows to earshot.
INT. LIVING ROOM Jimmy, Johnny, Cherry and Francesca arrive on scene in the middle of the outrage. Rod is just as confused as the rest.
JEANA Don't tell me about reason!
INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME TIME
GABRIEL You CAN'T leave!!!
JEANA Let me go!!!
Jeana PULLS, but Gabriel GRIPS her firmly.
JEANA (CONT'D) My stepfather- (she corrects) MY FATHER is dying and you won't let me leave?!
GABRIEL It's just a ploy for your attention, Jeana. He just wants the control. He just wants the sex.
JEANA (a LOW voice) It takes one to know one.
GABRIEL We had a deal!!
JEANA No YOU had a deal, Gabriel! And you were too weak to live up to your responsibilities! That's not a deal. That's a cop out.
GABRIEL How can you judge what I have and haven't done. I've been in LA and you've been in Simply.
JEANA And whose fault is that?!
GABRIEL You could have come with me.
JEANA You could have stayed with me.
GABRIEL Well now you have a choice, Jeana.
JEANA My father is dying. I have NO choice! My home is in Simply and you'll never know why. You and your posh! It's not just the posh Gabriel!
GABRIEL Live life to the fullest! That's what you always said, and that's what I did.
JEANA LLTF - It isn't just about the posh!
Gabriel RELEASES Jeana's arm. Jeana determines toward the door. Cherry runs after her, grabbing her arm gently.
CHERRY Jeana at least give yourself some time to calm down.
JEANA No Cherry, don't. Nothing ever happens when you're satisfied.
Jeana surveys the group, staring in disbelief. She pulls her purse tightly over here shoulder and stares back, unrelenting.
CHERRY Amazing you can think of food at a time like this.
FRANCES Leave him alone. Hasn’t he been through enough with that bitch?
GABRIEL Don’t you EVER call her a bitch!
Darnell arrives on scene.
DARNELL Hey-hey-hey! What’s goin’ down on this planet anywho. Aren’t we supposed to be having-
JIMMY Shut up Darnell.
DARNELL Sorry James?
JIMMY I said shut -
Darnell FLIES off. Heads to punch Jimmy. Roddy throws himself between them.
RODDY Wait man. Just serious shit went down.
DARNELL Fuckin’ better believe it. And like I deserve that? Fuckin’ no way. I’ll shut YOU up you child lover. You just keep on pressing my buttons and see what happens big man...
GABRIEL Stop it! Look, just blame me OK, Darnell? Jimmy never meant anything.
Pause.
Jimmy eases.
DARNELL Yeah man, just bad shit. Sorry.
JOHNNY What did she mean by you broke a deal?
GABRIEL (lying) Nothing. You know Jeana. She gets crazy confused. Her imagination running wild.
Gabriel clears his throat, looks at the ground.
He suddenly looks up.
GABRIEL Lunch?
INT. KITCHEN
Gabriel grabs stuff from the cupboards. His anger and stress results in the DROPPING of a glass. It shatters just as Frances arrives.
Gabriel grabs a broom and she grabs it out of his hand.
FRANCES Here, let me.
She sweeps and
As Gabriel resumes his preparations, she cleans the mess, dumping it in the trash.
She stares at Gabriel.
FRANCES (CONT'D) You can tell me.
GABRIEL I just don’t know if I can do this.
FRANCES Do what?
GABRIEL Jeana’s so...
FRANCES So what?
GABRIEL So gawdamned-
FRANCES Crazy?
GABRIEL No.
FRANCES Stubborn?
GABRIEL No.
FRANCES Argumentative?
GABRIEL No.
FRANCES What then?
GABRIEL She’s everything. She’s so gawdamned everything. She's too much.
Gabriel’s eyes look slightly wet.
FRANCES Maybe it’s not meant to be.
She sweeps a lock of hair falling down on Gabriel’s forehead.
Silence from Gabriel. He looks at the tap. It drips.
GABRIEL I’m rich and I’ve got a leaky faucet.
FRANCES Yeah. Happens to the best of us.
INT. GUEST WING
Johnny, Cherry, Jimmy and Roddy stand puzzling at one of Gabriel’s PAINTINGS. Completely splotchy abstract.
JOHNNY Whadya think THAT is?
Roddy smirks.
RODDY Darnell’s brain!
CHERRY Before or after some speed?!
They laugh, but then turn serious.
CHERRY I get the feeling Gabe’s not telling us something.
JIMMY What, you turning all Jeana on us now too?
CHERRY What’s that supposed to mean?
JIMMY Means you’ve got loads of intuition when you want it, but you can’t see who really loves you.
Jimmy walks off.
RODDY I’m goin’ to make amends with Darnell. Score me something. I can’t handle this.
Johnny and Cherry are left standing alone.
INT. KITCHEN
Lunch is coming along. Platters of vegetables and dip. Smoked salmon. Caviar. Antipasto. Intricately woven crackers and melba toast...
GABRIEL I’m sorry about going on about Jeana.
FRANCES Don’t be sorry. Do you- do you like my sex change?
GABRIEL You asked me that before...
FRANCES I know, but you would have been in shock then.... what do you think, now?
Gabriel smiles at Frances
GABRIEL You look very beautiful, Frances. I’m happy for you. That you can be you.
FRANCES Thank you. Gabriel.
INT. GUEST ROOM (JOHNNY)
JIMMY Look, I’m sorry. You deserve her more than I do.
JOHNNY Who am I kidding? She doesn’t want someone like me. I’m a fat loser. Well, you’re free to have her now, 'cause I just don't care anymore... whatever, man.
Jimmy points at the ring.
JIMMY Hey, maybe if I really loved her, I would have been smart enough to bring a ring too.
Johnny chucks the ring across the room.
Jimmy catches it and smiles. He throws it straight back at Johnny.
EXT. POND
Roddy finds Darnell smoking.
RODDY Are we having fun yet?
DARNELL A blast. Haven’t made one drug connection in this la-la land yet.
RODDY Gabriel gave me this and says happy belated.
Darnell reads a LIST of connections and phone numbers.
DARNELL Fuckin’ eh! Merry Christmas!
Darnell gives Roddy and big macho kiss!
RODDY Sometimes it’s good to be the messenger? ...
DARNELL Yeah well here’s a message you won’t like... Johnny wants to propose to Cherry like he’s walking on dreamy eggshells. A bright and shiny diamond ring no less.
RODDY That asshole. We’re all here trying to chill out and he’s gotta cause friction maxed.
INT. GUEST WING
Cherry is walking back to her room when she hears O.S. Johnny and Jimmy’s banter.
JOHNNY O.S. I can’t!
JIMMY O.S. You can!
She follows to Johnny’s room.
INT. GUEST ROOM (JOHNNY)
Johnny and Jimmy look shocked to see Cherry standing there.
CHERRY What can’t Johnny do?
An awkward silence.
JOHNNY I can’t copy season #3 of How I Met Your Mother for Jimmy because it’s illegal.
Johnny reaches his hand to conceal the ring on the table.
Darnell and Roddy enter. Darnell’s involved in a low rent high style tele-marketing drug deal. He’s holding the drug connections list, his eyes all a glitter. Roddy gives a couple of solid pats on Darnell’s shoulder as he smiles at Gabriel.
RODDY We might need to call the Episcopaleans or someone just to get him to calm down. Gabriel’s eyebrow rises, and a smile that comes from seeing Darnell and remembering old times.
DARNELL You bet I’ve got the A to Z of the best Ds this side of the pacific.
And then, it dawns on Gabriel.
GABRIEL Episcopalean?
Darnell ends the call with a bright:
DARNELL Scoring is never boring!
RODDY (to Gabriel then Darnell) Yeah Episcopalean. You’ve been hangin’ with them for a few months now, right Darnell?
DARNELL Something like that. Good people. Too right smack in the middle between the Protestants and the Catholics.
GABRIEL Darnell? Goin’ to church? And dealing drugs? Are you selling there, too?
DARNELL Hey they’re people too. A little relief from trouble is like Alka Seltzer for the brain pain.
Gabriel gives a “you got something there” nod.
Roddy switches gears by rapping his knuckles on the table.
RODDY Knock on wood we don’t all wind up in jail. Hated that final episode of Seinfeld you know...
A remembrance washes over the others’ faces. Grims the word.
RODDY (CONT'D) Hey, do you know what Johnny’s going to do this weekend?
GABRIEL Convert to Episcopalean too?
RODDY Try, conversion from being a bachelor over to wedded bliss.
Gabriel doesn’t understand, but shakes his head.
GABRIEL One plus one. (The look of “aha”. ) Of course it equals three!
RODDY What I’m sayin’ is that Johnny’s gonna propose to Cherry.
Darnell gets down on his knees and takes Burner’s hand.
DARNELL You were my first lovey-dove-dove oh will you please-pretty-please with a Cherry on top marry me Cherry. I know I’m a schmuck, but I’m taking classes and gave my last ten cases of Pringles to the food bank. I’m even going to Weight Watchers.
Gabriel shakes his head AGAIN, but this time it’s:
GABRIEL You guys are such knockers.
Frances comes in out of a huge room sized pantry.
FRANCES Wow you guys should see Gabriel’s pantry! He’s got Asian and Italian and look at this (She holds up a cook book.)
SEXUAL COOKING: HOW TO FEEL ALIVE AND FREE
Darnell stumbles past Roddy and grabs the book.
He starts turning the pages obsessively.
DARNELL Man where do you find this good stuff?
GABRIEL Membership has its privileges.
But when he says this, he suddenly turns somber.
GABRIEL (CONT'D)
And its vexations.
Frances grabs the book back.
FRANCES You don’t want to cook. You just wanna look at the pictures.
Darnell gives a “yeah so” look.
FRANCES (CONT'D) So I heard you guys say something about Johnny proposing to Cherry?
RODDY He’s got big plans. Even bought a ring.
FRANCESCA How do you know?
DARNELL I overheard.
GABRIEL And?
RODDY Let’s stop this.
GABRIEL Why?
RODDY There’s already a lot of tension.
GABRIEL Leave him alone. Everyone can do whatever they want except mess up my home.
RODDY Gabriel?
GABRIEL Roddy?
RODDY We’re here to relax.
GABRIEL And relax means not getting involved in anyone’s business.
RODDY Except if it affects the group.
GABRIEL I don’t have a problem and since this is my house, I win. Conversation ended. Now, why don’t you wait in the dining room for lunch?
RODDY I got a better idea, why don’t we-
He SNAGS the book out of Frances’ hands and races out, Frances in hot pursuit and Darnell following close.
Roddy’s already out the door.
RODDY O.S. Study up and do our homework like good boys and girls!
Frances stops suddenly, Darnell racing in front of her, stops for a moment, eyes her for that moment.
DARNELL You really do look good Frances, I must admit.
And he’s gone. Frances, stares at Gabriel, seriously.
FRANCES I’ll. I’ll get the others.
INT. GUEST ROOM (JOHNNY’S)
JIMMY Do you really think Gabriel would donate to my children’s group?
JOHNNY Why wouldn’t he?
CHERRY It’s for children.
JIMMY I’ll see about asking him then.
As Jimmy exits, Frances obstructs his path. Jimmy touches her arm.
FRANCES Lunch is almost ready.
They exit.
INT. GUEST WING
Johnny and Jimmy walk ahead of Frances and Cherry.
Frances smiles at Cherry.
FRANCES Cherry, have you heard anything?
CHERRY Like?
FRANCES Anything.
CHERRY Nope.
FRANCES Not even a marriage proposal?
CHERRY Who?
FRANCES You and someone close to you.
CHERRY Roddy has been flirting with me, but marriage?
FRANCES No not Roddy. Johnny.
CHERRY Johnny?
FRANCES Yeah.
CHERRY You sure?
FRANCES Yeah.
Frances stares at Cherry.
CHERRY Really?
FRANCES What are you going to do?
CHERRY I don't know.
She walks ahead. Frances follows.
INT. DINING ROOM
Cherry and Frances enter and find the others waiting.
RODDY ‘tsabout time. Gabriel wouldn’t let us eat until you got here.
DARNELL And for all my Episcapalean friends, I say we don’t eat until we say grace.
Cherry’s overcome.
CHERRY That’s beautiful, Darnell!
They all shrug and bow their heads.
DARNELL We pray in gratitude and even with our crummy attitude, may we be blessed and pass the test and thank you God for-
Silence.
DARNELL (CONT'D) For-
Silence. Cherry peaks. Underneath the table, she rubs Darnell’s leg with her foot.
CHERRY For being the best.
Darnell OPENS his eyes and STARES at Cherry.
DARNELL Salute! Le Chaim! Cheers! And all THAT! To Episcopaleans everywhere!
WHOLE GROUP To Episcopaleans everywhere!
EXCEPT Johnny is engrossed in his thoughts. And then...
JOHNNY I'll be back. I gotta get something from my room.
He exits.
Roddy and Jimmy take turns looking at each other and then to Darnell and Cherry, who seem to be having some kind of moment.
Frances watches Jimmy and Roddy watching Darnell and Cherry.
Gabriel watches Frances watching Jimmy and Roddy watching Darnell and Cherry.
CHERRY Here, you outta try some cream cheese with the salmon.
She SPREADS it on Darnell’s cracker. Darnell watches her intently, not knowing whether to watch the cracker or her.
CHERRY (CONT'D) And then you take a pickle, like so...
The eating continues. And even some DROOLING from Roddy as his soup trickles out of his open mouth.
Francesca enters her room. She sits at the desk and opens her day planner.
She turns to a picture of Johnny in high school and caresses it.
Frances hears a noise outside and goes to the window.
The page flips to a picture of Gabriel.
EXT. MANSION - FRONT
An RV pulls into the massive driveway and parks.
Jeana exits, wearing a black abaya, dressed as a Muslim.
Jeana is alternately nodding "yes" and shaking "no" to someone just inside the RV's entrance.
She shuts the door and proceeds toward the mansion's doorway.
INT. GUEST ROOM (FRANCES)
FRANCES What on earth is going on now?
She exits.
INT. GUEST ROOM (JOHNNY)
The Three Amigos are royally trashed.
DARNELL I can't believe Johnny's meltdown-
JIMMY (mocking) I love you. I always have. Since the first day we met…
DARNELL And that kiss at my house was amazing! My first and only love.
JIMMY I know I am a loser but-
RODDY You know you're a loser when...
DARNELL You CALL yourself a loser.
More laughter.
Burner snorts the coke with vengeance then spins around the room in a fit.
RODDY Fu-fu-fu-fuck Johnny! Fuck my life! Fu-fu-fuck it all!
DARNELL You taken over by tourettes?
RODDY No that fucking Johnny if it weren't for his fucking around, I'd still be clean!
Darnell quite calmly says:
DARNELL Not with that filthy mouth Rod, darling. Must you be so foul? What would your mother say?
Jimmy laughs.
JIMMY Actually, his mother was always one to say, "I will love you Roddy Burnside no matter what."
DARNELL It was YOUR mother who said that!
RODDY Actually MY mother DID say that.
Darnell looks up to the right portion of the ceiling, staring far off as if to the moon.
DARNELL Actually MY MOTHER SAID THE SAME THING!
RODDY See how fucked we are?! And I made this promise to myself and told my mother how I was going to stay clean from now on and now I can't go back to her and lie! FUCK!
Darnell's still staring far off. Silence. The three of them all wind up staring where
Darnell is staring, is staring, is staring. That upper right hand corner of the room has never been so fascinating.
DARNELL What were we just talking about?
RODDY You said how you wanted to go somewhere else and party.
DARNELL I did?
RODDY Yeah, but I wanna go see what Cherry's up to. Wanna come?
DARNELL I think I'll go browse the grounds of this fantasy land. You guys go ahead. I'm getting claustrophobia stuck inside this place.
The three exit.
INT. LIVING ROOM
Cherry paces back and forth.
GABRIEL Look it's not so bad as you think. Yes we all knew about it. But what else could we do? Spoil it for Johnny?
CHERRY Spoil what? He can't possibly be anymore spoiled than he already is. Living at home. Not a single dream going on in that Pop Tart brain of his-
INT. KITCHEN
Frances tries to rush out the back door through the kitchen when she encounters Johnny.
Johnny senses her rush.
JOHNNY What's your hurry and where ya going?
FRANCES I just saw Jeana out front and you wouldn't believe what I saw!
JOHNNY Look, forget Jeana for a moment...
Johnny takes hold of her shoulders.
JOHNNY Oh Frances, I'm so glad to see you.
FRANCES You are?
JOHNNY Of everyone here, I think you've always been the one to have your head on straight.
FRANCES You do?
JOHNNY Yeah and that's why-
Jeana ENTERS, her black attire almost knocking Johnny over.
Frances holds Johnny's arm. Johnny holds Frances' in return.
JOHNNY (CONT'D) Jeana? Why are you dressed like a Muslim?
JEANA I will be changing shortly. It was my father's request when I'm in his company now.
Frances and Johnny approach Jeana, sympathetic.
FRANCES I'm so sorry, Jeana. Maybe you should go back to be with him. It's only right that he take precedence for your time right now. We're not important.
JEANA He is here with me.
The light hits Frances.
FRANCES The RV.
JOHNNY RV?
FRANCES There's an RV parked out front and if I'm following correctly, Jeana's dad is inside of it.
JEANA Father had my uncle bring him here. My uncle kept trying to get a hold of me, but my cell wouldn't work. And Darnell's brain is too fried. He didn't even remember my uncle Flin. Thought it was a prank.
JOHNNY I remember Flin. So Flin brought your dad? Isn't he too sick to travel?
JEANA Private jet. You know father.
FRANCES What I don't know is how he got here so fast.
JEANA They left right after I did. Took the jet here. Rented the RV. But they couldn't get a hold of me. Once I got hold of a new phone, I got hold of my father.
JOHNNY Step father.
Jeana looks down.
JEANA Yes.
Jean looks up.
JOHNNY Well why don't you bring him in? What's going on?
JEANA He WON'T come in. NOT unless he's invited. And it has to do with a deal that Gabriel made with him a long time ago and he's here to demand from Gabriel.
FRANCES Sounds to me if he were demanding anything, and if he had the strength to make it here, he'd also have the strength to come inside and do his demanding.
Jeana puts a hand on Frances' chest.
JEANA My father has come all this way and made the first step. Gabriel must make the second step.
She pats Frances where her heart sits.
JEANA (CONT'D) It must come from Gabriel. From his heart.
EXT. MANSION - FRONT
Darnell turns the corner from the side into the front.
His cell RINGS.
He TRIPS slightly, as he tries to manage answering his phone and walking at the same time. Hard with his level of intoxication.
DARNELL Hey Brad, baby. How's it-
His face turns serious.
DARNELL (CONT'D) No man, look things are turning up.
BRAD O.S. The only thing gonna be turning up is you in a graveyard if you don't get me my money.
Click.
Darnell puts the phone back in his pocket. He looks up.
Sees the RV. Shakes his head.
DARNELL No way this was here before.
Walks toward it. Touches it.
DARNELL (CONT'D) No this is real. And if it's not. Maybe I'd better lay off the shit. 'Cause it's getting too real and-
GABRIEL O.S. What the hell and where did you get that from, Darnell?
Gabriel's fast approaching toward him.
DARNELL I didn't. It's not mine.
GABRIEL Don't give me that shit! You and Roddy are fuckin' around again aren't you? Gawdamn it Darnell!
DARNELL No really!
INT. KITCHEN - SAME TIME
JOHNNY So anways I borrowed money from my parents to buy the ring, but I didn't tell them I borrowed it.
JEANA Johnny, that's not borrowing. That's STEALING!
Jeana, Frances and Johnny look up to the sound of:
GABRIEL O.S. Gawdamn it! Why can't you give it a rest for once?!
Jeana covers her mouth.
JOHNNY What?
JEANA I'm afraid.
FRANCES What?
JEANA He's gonna be so angry with me when he finds out.
FRANCES Gabriel? No. I'll talk to him for you. He'll listen to me.
He closes his eyes. Presses his forehead upon the door momentarily as if the inanimate might give him support.
He snaps himself out of it; opens the door with confidence.
EXT. MANSION (FRONT)
Gabriel pulls the drunken Darnell towards the RV.
Gabriel kicks it in a funky martial arts move and hurts his foot.
GABRIEL Get this gawdamned thing out of my driveway!
DARNELL Honest as Able! It’s not mine!
INT. KITCHEN
Johnny is about to cry. So is Jeana.
Frances eyes them both for a moment, an indifferent cast glazing over her face.
FRANCES Pull yourselves together. Come on.
Frances pulls Jeana along, but Johnny stays behind.
He stands there for a moment, chugs back a beer and gives a loud belch.
JOHNNY This weird shit that’s goin’ on makes me hungry.
He spies the pantry. A devious grin grows along with the noise outside as he starts to stroke his chin.
He turns on a radio to dampen the noise of commotion outside.
Dons an apron that says,
Many people have eaten my cooking and gone on to live normal lives.
He rubs his hands together, cracks his knuckles and sets to work.
INT. GUEST ROOM (CHERRY)
Roddy rummages through Cherry's things. He finds a makeup bag. His grin also turns as sinister as Johnny’s.
EXT. MANSION - FRONT
As Frances and Jeana come into view. A jaw drops:
It’s Gabriel's. In complete shock at the way she's dressed.
GABRIEL What the hell Jeana?
JEANA I went to a costume ball. You know those HOLLYWOOD affairs, Gabriel.
GABRIEL Next time I have an affair like that, I’ll call you first...
A dark cloud overhead slices through the sun and the sun pierces through it like a flaming sword, but only Jeana sees.
GABRIEL (CONT'D) ...because I love, a good slut, like you.
Jeana smiles fondly.
JEANA Think-you. Are we human? Or are we dancers?
Frances shakes her head and glides in front of Jeana to get first row of Gabriel and Darnell.
FRANCES What are you both fighting about?
GABRIEL This! (showcasing the RV) He steals this monster and then parks it in my driveway.
DARNELL I’m telling you it’s not mine.
GABRIEL ‘Course it’s not yours. It’s stolen! Just like the ring. My whole Mansion is turning out to be a Den of Thieves.
Jeana begins an amazing rendition of “The Temple Moneychangers” scene from Jesus Christ superstar.
Roll on up, for my price is down. Come on in for the best in town. Take your pick of the finest wine. Lay your bets on this bird of mine. Roll on up, for my price is down. Come on in for the best in town. Take your pick of the finest wine. Lay your bets on this bird of mine. Name your price, I got everything. Come and buy, It's going fast. Borrow cash on the finest terms. Hurry now while stocks still last.
Her black abaya swirls.
Gabriel’s enjoying this and puts on a pair of shades.
The sun gleams upon them as his acting career climaxes along with his vocal gymnastics as he sings,
GABRIEL (CONT'D) Myyyyyy mansion, should be, a place of prayer, but you have made it, a den of thieves.
After the stunning performance by both these two, Darnell works his lips around:
DARNELL Does that mean you’re not angry with me anymore?
Gabriel smiles lightly. Jeana steps up to Gabriel.
JEANA Of course he’s not angry with you anymore. You don’t stay angry very long do you Gabriel, darling?
GABRIEL Not uuusually...
And then he looks through Jeana. She steps back.
GABRIEL (CONT'D) If the RV isn’t Darnell’s doing then--
Frances swiftly moves to Gabriel.
FRANCES I think it has something to do with Jeana!
Thus Jeana yanks on Darnell, trying to pull him aside. True, Gabriel doesn’t stay angry for long, but the RV was not in their plans.
Darnell resists, but Jeana's will is stronger than Darnell's intoxication.
Frances starts rambling, out of character.
FRANCES (CONT'D) It makes perfect sense that Jeana would say her father’s inside.
GABRIEL She said that? But Logan called me and-
Gabriel shakes his head.
Frances has a moment of amusement.
FRANCES It’s just like old times, isn’t it? Remember graduation?
FLASHBACK
EXT. SIMPLY HIGH SCHOOL - FRONTAGE
The street in front of the school is decorated, as tradition with spray painted artwork from the graduating class.
EXT. FIELD - SIMPLY HIGH SCHOOL
The graduating students, dressed in their finest, mull about around and underneath huge tents set up for the occasion.
EXT. SIMPLY HIGH SCHOOL - FRONTAGE
A HEARSE pulls up in front. Roddy’s driving.
At the curb, Cherry, Frances, Johnny, Jimmy and Darnell all freak at what they’re seeing while we freak at what we’re seeing:
Cherry = Rich red gown. A cherry tiara.
Frances = Frilled blouse together with a suit. A tam on his head.
Johnny = Not quite pulled together. His suit is only a blazer.
Jimmy = Mild looking comfortable regular suit and tie. Seems normal, but when he turns around, his back is covered like a patchwork quilt. And closer up still, he’s missing his shoes.
Darnell = A tuxedo T-shirt and velour pants.
They see and te-he:
Roddy gets out first, comes round to the back and opens the back door like a chauffeur, but he’s dressed as a magician.
He wears white gloves and sweeps the air gracefully in presentation as he taps his magic stick on the hearse:
Gabriel and Jeana exit the hearse as a White Bride and Black Priest.
The five of the group at the curb are all giggles and holy shit.
While five of them alternately high five--
Roddy saunters up to Cherry and produces “magic flowers” for her as a gift. They have a moment as he raises her hand and kisses it softly.
Cherry’s face melts as we return to:
EXT. MANSION - FRONT
Frances and Gabriel’s glowing eyes.
GABRIEL Those were good times weren’t they?
FRANCES I have to admit you and Jeana were always planning some sort of madness...
NEAR THE RV
JEANA Please tell him you stole the RV.
DARNELL Why?
JEANA ‘Cause I’m not ready for him to know that I’ve been talking with my father about the Legacy again.
DARNELL What legacy?
JEANA My father, step father, wants Gabriel to take over his entire estate-- That was the deal. It’s a long story.
DARNELL You mean your father really IS in the RV?
JEANA No, but I was talking to the ghost of my father. My real father. I rented the RV because I needed someplace quiet. I can’t channel when there’s so much commotion going on.
DARNELL OK look. I’ll do it, but you have to do whatever I ask later. Deal?
JEANA Deal.
Gabriel and Frances turn from their reverie, watching Darnell and Jeana watching them with a "something's up".
Darnell approaches Gabriel and Frances with a hearty:
DARNELL OK, look. I did it K? I don’t want Jeana taking the blame for my evil deeds.
GABRIEL I don’t believe this!
FRANCES Hey! Why don’t we take it for a spin! It’ll be like that time--
Weird noises from:
RODDY O.S.
Rooked-me! We-hee-hee!
They raise their heads upward to a high window in the mansion.
Roddy the joker has makeup all over his face and is laughing like a maniac.
GABRIEL Roddy you better not break even ONE ming vase or I’ll--!
Gabriel storms inside.
Frances, Jeana and Darnell stand there. They break into laughter.
INT. LIVING ROOM
Very soft inside as Cherry looks through a pile of DVD's. She picks out a sitcom and puts the disk in the DVD player.
She sits back to watch. Everything's perfect except two things. One, she's missing Johnny in a sentimental kind of way.
And Two, she's missing her cigarettes.
As she reaches for a pack that Darnell left, she notices her "empty" left ring finger.
She starts to cry as she tries to speak--
Cherry Ro... Rah... Rod...
But the name can't quite breath through her lips.
The door squeaks opens just a crack.
Such an expensive mansion, with leaky faucets and squeaky doors.
Spy themed music plays while Gabriel pulls the black turtle neck over his head to complete his black ensemble. He's one mean mother.
A SCREAM and loud SPLASH off screen, catch Gabriel's attention. He smirks.
On Gabriel's bed sits a large black case. He coolly strides over to it. Then he smiles as pulls out a gun.
RODDY(O.S.) FAT BOY CAN SWIM!
Gabriel turns quickly toward the sound.
He cocks the gun. Aims at the camera. Pulls the trigger. Then everything goes black.
INT. POOL
Roddy hops on Johnny's back pushing him below the water. Johnny spins around and pops back up coughing.
JOHNNY You're an asshole.
RODDY Is that why you're always wanting to kiss me?
Roddy puckers his lips and Johnny seems confused. Then it registers with a vengeance. Johnny take a swing at Roddy.
Roddy twist into the water and swims away, the swing misses him. Johnny follows quickly.
He grabs Roddy's leg but Roddy kicks him away. Roddy's enjoying himself.
Johnny isn't, he's takes the matter seriously, a quick burst of speed and he's on Roddy's back. Johnny brings his elbow down hard against Roddy's spine. Roddy screams out but it quickly becomes bubbles under the water.
JOHNNY (mutters) I've always wanted to do that.
And he's falling backwards. Roddy has his leg. Roddy pops above the water.
RODDY That fucking hurt. You know?
And he pulls Johnny by his legs. Johnny lies flat back in the water, thrashing. He tries to get leverage but can't.
RODDY Thought you were better than me, Fat Boy! Well, whose got the upper hand now?
The crotch of Johnny's pants are against Roddy's belly. Johnny tries to take a swing at him but it doesn't work.
Roddy grabs Johnny's pants by the belt. Offscreen Jimmy clears his throat. Both turn to look.
JIMMY What's going on here?
RODDY Johnny's decided to marry me instead of Cherry. Didn't you Johnny baby?
Johnny glares at him.
JOHNNY Fuck --
Roddy lifts Johnny's legs and Johnny's head goes below the water before he has a chance to finish.
RODDY Always thinking about sex.
Johnny splashes about trying to get his head above water.
JIMMY Let him go.
And Jimmy and Roddy stare down each other. Meanwhile, Johnny isn't yet above water.
Then Roddy relents, he releases Johnny's legs.
RODDY What the fuck is it with you two?
And he turns away disgusted.
Johnny has caught his breath. He lunges at Roddy.
JOHNNY Fucking son of a bitch.
Roddy makes a smooth move and Johnny misses him. Johnny splashes into the water with a belly flop. Roddy swims toward the deep end.
Johnny back again he wades toward Roddy.
JIMMY Johnny!
JOHNNY I'm gonna fucking kill him.
JIMMY Let it go.
JOHNNY But --
JIMMY He's not worth it.
Johnny thinks about it for a moment. The he looks toward Roddy.
JOHNNY I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on earth!
Roddy laughs loudly.
Johnny exits the pool.
Roddy treads water and smiles.
RODDY (to himself) Priceless.
INT. MANSION – HALLWAY
Johnny storms through the hallway muttering his thoughts on revenge.
EXT. MANSION
Roddy spies Jimmy still standing at the side of the pool. Roddy swims over to the side.
RODDY Come on in the water's fine!
JIMMY Sometimes you're such a jerk.
RODDY Because I invited you in for a swim?
JIMMY Grow up.
RODDY Never!
And Roddy pushes off from the side and backstrokes across the pool. With a big smile, he watches Jimmy shake his head for a moment and then walk off.
Roddy's smile turns serious.
INT. GABRIEL’S BEDROOM
Gabriel examines the gun in his hand. A knock on the door startles him.
JEANNA (O.S.) Everything okay in there?
Gabriel runs over to the bed. Another knock.
FRANCES (O.S.) Open the door Gabriel, It's Frances.
JEANNA (O.S.) It's Jeanna!
Gabriel stick the gun back in the bag.
FRANCES (O.S.) Frances!
JEANNA (O.S) Jeanna!
He turns to hear muffled arguing through the door. He smiles.
INT. POOL Roddy relaxes in the hot tub. He looks completely exhausted.
DARNELL (O.S.) What have you been doing?
Roddy opens his eyes to see Darnell. He smiles.
RODDY Trying to sober up. I've employed hot cold therapy. You wouldn't believe what you can do with the jets in this hot tub.
DARNELL I don't think I want to know.
Darnel sits on the edge of the tub. He stick his hand in the water swirls it around thoughtfully.
DARNELL But I did want to ask you something.
RODDY Shoot.
DARNELL How much do you think that ring was worth?
RODDY What ring?
DARNELL The ripped off ring, Johnny's ring!
RODDY How the fuck would I know? You should ask Fat Boy. And while your at it give him a kiss from me.
Darnell looks at Roddy with a "what the fuck" look. Roddy laughs.
RODDY I was kidding.
Darnell is relieved. But then he stares at Roddy, like he has something to say but he isn't quite sure how to say it. Roddy is suspicious.
RODDY Why do you want to know about the ring?
Darnell pause then stutters.
DARNELL Because I stole it.
And Darnell pulls the ring from his pocket. Roddy's eyes go wide.
RODDY Shit! Man. Never going to change are you?
DARNELL Like you've changed.
RODDY I'm at least trying.
DARNELL Well, I have debts. Bad debts. You wouldn't know anything about those Mister Nine to ...
There is a SCUFFLING sound off screen. Darnell pockets the ring.
DARNELL What was that?
Darnell goes to investigate. Roddy watches him exit with concern.
INT. LIVING ROOM
Darnell enters the living room and walks smack into Jimmy. They bump heads.
JIMMY Sorry.
Jimmy's hands are all over Darnell.
DARNELL It's ok. Really.
JIMMY It was clumsy of me.
Darnell pulls away.
DARNELL Not a problem.
Darnell crosses the room and as an aftertought.
DARNELL That ring, you know, the one that was ripped off. How much do you think that was worth?
JIMMY Quite a bit, I think. Johnny spent his entire savings on it.
Darnell smiles.
JIMMY It was devastating for him to have it stolen. He may never be same again.
Darnell looks down, thoughtful. Then he turns and exits.
Once Jimmy is sure Darnell is gone, he looks both ways and then opens his closed hand. In his palm is the ring. He gives it a devious smile then looks once again in Darnell's direction.
Cherry slowly starts to do laps, back and forth, back and forth.
Cherry recites a little ditty.
CHERRY Roddy is a joker, Jeana is a bitch, Frances is a girly now, and Johnny lost his ring. Yeah, we’re all fucked up.
The water surges as she gets faster and faster.
CHERRY (cont’d) Jimmy is a prince, Gabriel is an acting goon, Cherry is so damn lost, and Darnell is a dunderhead. Yeah, we’re all fucked up.
INT. LIVING ROOM
JIMMY What's in the bag?
FRANCES Come on. You know you’re just dying to tell us so--
JEANA -- tell us already.
Gabriel holds the bag tightly.
DARNELL He ain’t gonna to tell us. Look at that shit-eating grin.
GABRIEL Not until everyone is here. We need Johnny, Cherry and Roddy. Wait, that sounds like trouble brewing.
Roddy wanders in.
RODDY What the fuck is going on here?
Everyone looks to Gabriel as he reaches into the bag and pulls out a
GUN
He points it at Roddy.
Roddy gulps. The rest of the gang appears stunned.
Gabriel waits a moment.
RODDY Look, Gabriel. I apologize. I--
DARNELL --Give him a chance man…
Roddy tenses.
Gabriel pulls the trigger.
CLICK
A dark stain appears on Roddy’s crotch.
Roddy examines himself and his fingers come up with paint off his chest.
RODDY Fuck you, asshole!
Darnell slumps into a chair.
DARNELL A paint ball gun. It was just a paint ball gun.
A murmur of relief escapes from the gang.
RODDY I am going to kill you.
Roddy lunges for Gabriel.
Gabriel easily sidesteps Roddy.
GABRIEL I take it I have one recruit for paintball?
RODDY John Boy and Cherry don’t know yet?
Gabriel shakes his head.
RODDY I am so in. Gabriel, you’re still on my list.
Gabriel nods.
Gabriel tosses them each a bag:
JIMMY Me want gun. Me like see Big Chief Gabriel make squaw piss her pants.
RODDY You just made the list, buddy.
FRANCES Boys and their guns. Is there one that doesn’t shoot piss balls?
RODDY Very funny, Frances. You just made the short list.
FRANCES Talking from experience, short stuff?
JEANA I want one that shoots metal pellets, got any of those?
DARNELL I worry about you, Jeana. I really do.
GABRIEL Enough yapping. Go get dressed. Ouick. I’ll leave a bag for Johnny and Cherry in their rooms. (as if announcing a wrestling match on TV) It's time for paintball!
INT. POOL
Cherry slows her laps down. She's puffing. She floats on her back, closes her eyes... at peace.
Click. The lights go on.
Cherry opens her eyes.
Everyone is dressed as bad mothers -- six shooters, six guns -- pointing at her.
Cherry screams.
Johnny bursts in from his hiding place in the changing room.
His pants are down around his ankles.
He hyperventilates as he looks around the pool.
RODDY (looking at Johnny and Cherry) Dear Penthouse, I thought this would never happen to me…
Everyone except Cherry points their guns at Johnny. Johnny screams - it sounds like when Cherry screamed.
Gabriel raises his gun
GABRIEL To the maze, and beyond!
RODDY (to Johnny) You, you fat masturbating motherfucker, get your gear and gun and come on! (to Cherry) You, you sensual lovely woman, get your gear and gun and come on! (to Darnell) Was that too harsh?
Darnell starts to speak.
RODDY Fuck it, lets go!
Johnny doesn't move.
RODDY I said lets go, fat boy!
Roddy shoots Johnny in the foot.
JOHNNY Oww! What the hell?!
Roddy runs off, the others except for Cherry follow.
Johnny stops to chase a few seconds after, puffed.
JOHNNY If I was slightly more fit... I would... boy, I would...
Cherry stands behind him, clothed.
Her and Johnny lock eyes for a second - connected - they rush out of the room.
EXT. MAZE
A huge hedge maze goes off into the distance.
BAM, Roddy sprints left, BAM, Gabriel right. Jeana follows him.
BAM BAM BAM. Darnell, Frances and Jimmy shoot off in different directions.
Suddenly, silence.
In a different part of the maze, Jeana walks with Gabriel.
GABRIEL I was expecting the other two to get involved, but oh well. This is still going to look amazing on camera.
Gabriel points out a few camera's with his gun.
Jeana smiles.
JEANA You, dear Gabriel, really are a mystery.
Gabriel smiles.
INT. CHERRY’S BEDROOM
Cherry rushes to squeeze into the paintball gear.
INT. JOHNNY’S BEDROOM
Johnny is geared up, he grabs a gun on the bed - checks it. Locked and loaded.
EXT. MAZE
GABRIEL I'm, me, a mystery?! If anything -
FRANCES Camera's? Are you serious?
Jeana and Gabriel spin to Frances standing there.
GABRIEL laughs, the actor kicking in.
GABRIEL Umm, what?
FRANCES You just mentioned camera's. Are they for security? Or something else?
GABRIEL Security obviously, why else would I -
Frances walks in Gabriels face.
FRANCES Don't fuck with me Gabriel.
Gabriel looks to Jeana for support.
JEANA Frances -
FRANCES Jeana, don't. Gabriel, if you are creating conflict in this house just for the sake of filming it, that is not right. We all came here for a relaxing, fun weekend. We trusted you Gabriel. You let us all down.
GABRIEL They are just security!
Frances stares at Gabriel. Pause.
FRANCES Whatever, I don't want to play this stupid game anyway...
Frances turns around, walks away.
BANG. Gabriel shoots a paintball into France's back.
Frances spins around, raises her gun.
GABRIEL GO, GO, GO.
Gabriel and Jeana sprint off, Frances follows. She's mad.
In another part of the maze, Roddy slinks around a corner. He brings his wrist to his mouth.
RODDY (into wrist) Bravo bravo, charlie, roger, roger. What's your position, over, under, through and out.
EXT. MAZE Darnell huffs and puffs as plods down the bushy path. He is covered in splotches of paint. Roddy's voice blares from his headset.
RODDY (V.O.) Wilco Roger alpha alpha ten four twenty, you there?
Darnell stops. Sniffs.
He bends down and eyes a small weedy looking bush.
DARNELL Gabriel! You naughty beautiful man, you.
And he starts picking buds from the bush. His headset blares.
RODDY (V.O.) Darnell! Dammit, where the hell are you?
DARNELL Right here, man.
RODDY (V.O.) Why didn't you answer. I've been calling?
DARNELL The fuck you have! You've been going on and on about some guy named Roger. Anyway, I gotta go. I'm busy.
Darnell takes his headset off and throws it to the side. He smells one of the buds he picked and smiles sweetly.
EXT. MAZE Roddy calls Darnell's name as he taps the ear piece on his headset. He turns a corner...
...Only to find himself looking down a gun barrel. Johnny holds the gun and he sports the biggest Cheshire smile ever seen. Roddy instinctively raises his hand.
JOHNNY I got you now, you son of a bitch.
Roddy backs up but Johnny matches pace.
RODDY Johnny! What a surprise. (into mic) Darnell! Could use some backup! Darnell! (pause) Shit!
JOHNNY What's the matter? Did your butt buddy Darnell switch teams?
RODDY Heh. Heh. That's very funny Fat --
JOHNNY Boy?
RODDY Now Johnny you know I call you that because --
JOHNNY Say it!
RODDY Johnny.
JOHNNY Fucking say it!
RODDY Alright Fat --
CHERRY (O.S.) Boy! Fat Boy!
They turn toward Cherry's voice. Cherry has her gun pointed at Johnny. Johnny and Roddy seem embarrased. Johnny lowers his gun.
CHERRY Everyone used to call you that. It was your nickname.
JOHNNY But I'm not fat anymore.
RODDY Yeah, you are --
Cherry aims at Roddy both with the gun and her eyes.
RODDY -- n't fat.
CHERRY No matter what they call you Johnny. There's one thing you can be sure of. Everyone here loves you.
Johnny goes starry eyed. He takes a step toward Cherry.
JOHNNY Even you? Cherry is uncertain how to answer. Neither pay attention to Roddy and he takes the opportunity to escape. Then Cherry spots him.
CHERRY Roddy. He's getting away --
But Johnny doesn't care.
JOHNNY Do you? Do you love me?
CHERRY Yes, Johnny I love you.
Johnny looks over the moon. Cherry bites her lip.
CHERRY But not that way.
And she dashes off after Roddy.
CHERRY I'm gonna get you Roddy, you bastard.
Johnny deflates. His gun drops to the ground. Then he does as well.
EXT. MAZE Jimmy turns a corner. He aims his gun into the distance then, with concern, lowers it.
Johnny sits on the ground. He is crying.
Jimmy walks toward him.
JIMMY Hey. What's wrong?
Johnny wipes his eyes but still sobs.
JOHNNY I'm such an idiot. How could I think she could ever love a fat slob like me?
JIMMY Cherry?
Johnny nods. Jimmy is sympathetic.
JOHNNY She loves you though.
Jimmy shrugs.
JIMMY Hey. I got something I'm sure is going to cheer you up.
Jimmy pulls the ring from his pocket. It sparkles in front of Johnny's eyes. Johnny is shocked.
JIMMY You'll never guess who...
JOHNNY You mother fucking son of a bitch!
Johnny stands full of anger.
JIMMY No! Wait! You don't...
JOHNNY You godamn BASTARD!
The sound of Johnny's bastard echos through the maze.
EXT. MAZE Darnell is sitting on the ground sniff a bud when he hears the echo. He gives it no more than a moments thought then returns to his precious.
EXT. MAZE Cherry chases Roddy down a path. They both laugh.
The echo catches Cherry's attention. She stops and turns in the direction of Johnny's voice.
Roddy tackles her. Then he lies on top of her, laughing as she struggles to free herself.
EXT. MAZE Johnny lunges at Jimmy. But Jimmy hops out of the way. Johnny falls to the ground, his gun lays near him. He eyes it.
JIMMY I didn't steal it, you idiot.
Johnny winces.
JOHNNY Bullshit!
Johnny rolls over, his gun in his hand. He aims at Jimmy. Jimmy aims back.
JOHNNY All this time, you've been playing me. Haven't you?
Pages: 1, 
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