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Happy Ave (currently 1838 views)
Don
Posted: December 22nd, 2010, 7:50pm
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So, what are you writing?
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Happy Ave by I. Iacob (zazie) - Series - A corrupted priest with a secret criminal past finds out crucial stock market inside information during confession. He devises a brilliant get rich quickly scheme. A struggle between morality and temptation ensues. 30 pages - doc, format
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Don revised script
Abeoldieboy
Posted: May 25th, 2012, 7:32pm
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It's good. You should make it more of a dramedy. Add some more raunchy humor. I do like it though.
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Forgive
Posted: May 25th, 2012, 7:46pm
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I t may appear to have potential, and visually these is some here, but it's badly written. Check page three - Frankie's dialogue should be Fr. Jacobs. Those smash cuts could simply be a montage. And Fr Jacobs initial dialogue? Not too sure, there. Needs a re-work.
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ChrisB
Posted: May 29th, 2012, 10:44pm
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It's entertaining and hilarious but as SiColl007 says the formatting could be much better.
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