Okay, so I've read up to page 55 so far. Now, I can't stress enough that I am in no way attempting to be mean or trollish. Please don't mistaken my incapability of offering criticism with a kind-hearted tone as a vindictive attack.
As I said, I've read up to page 55, and that was as far as my will and patience took me. So far, there doesn't seem to be any real established conflict. Your story is about a ghost attempting to get revenge on the man who can see her. By around page 25-35 her plan for revenge, and Travis's want to protect himself should already have been well established. So far, you've commited a crime of story pacing. It's also the superflous action, dialogue and scenes padding the script, but the main problem that contributes to the sluggish pacing is that it's already past the half-way point and Travis isn't fighting for his life. All I've read were the same type of empty scenes repeated over and over. There's a strange whisper or sound and Travis goes to investigate, there's a strange whisper or sound and Travis goes to investigate. I understand, there's a ghost haunting him, Please move forward.
Whenever you write a scene, whenever you write a line of dialogue, whenever you write a line of action, ever word has to contribute in some way, to character, to story, to theme or to elicit an emotional reaction and in the most quick and concise way possible. Is it important that his beard is itchy on page 23? Does it impact the plot or character when Jim mentions that the technology is old and outdated? When you edit the script, take out lines of dialogue taped on the end that involves a character saying hello or buy to someone and any dialogue that feels too boring and conversational. They add fat to the script. If you want to convey something as simple as a character in some form of emotional distress, like Blair's response to the whole situation of Crystal being sent home after seeing ghosts. If you want to externalize her internal torment, have her hand shake, have her drop something after the situation is mentioned and than move onto the new scene. Big, empty, melodramatic dialogue like "I don't know what to do anymore!" distances me from the character, it actually makes me want to see her getting hurt. Same goes for the Erin character. If you wanted to show-case to the audience the very strong possibility that Travis killed Tara (or perhaps create an aura of mystery around him and create questions, I'm not quite sure what you're trying to do), than make her have an opinion on the matter, and express it through a few conside lines. Consider the fact that incidents of innocent men going away have been documented due to people jumping to conclusions and being cock sure of circumsntantial evidence. It would have benefited to just have her say "you know, it's probably..." and than move on to the next scene. We have seven or eight lines of over-long dialogue that paints a very un-professional, dumb, irritating character. (and yes, it's been mentioned how stupid it was for her to ask if it was homocide or murder considering she was so darn cock sure it was Travis)
By page 30, I noticed that I really didn't care what happens to the Travis character. By page 35, I realized every scene he was in made me feel depressed, simply because he's such an emotionless, doormat of a character, just someone to fill in a story slot, going through the motions. Have him argue a little more often, have him offer an opinion, give him some zing, some personality, some humor. He should have gotten a little angrier at that Erin woman, and at least a little more reluctant to offer some blood. Give him some strengths to balance his flaws. So far all I've gotten from this guy is that he's a cheater. I see no reason to care for him.
But he isn't the only poorly written character. Nobody outside the Patrick character seems to have any discernable personality or depth. The scene in the office with Blair and Dr. Chambers (what a huge coincidence that the wife of one of your patients handles your income taxes, but I digress) doesn't click with me. Why did they laugh. Was that before a joke? Laughing at something that isn't very funny makes the characters seem robotic and weird. Why would he say to Travis "it isn't rocket science?" Is he trying to make Travis feel dumb? Also, there's something a little weird with Travis opening the door to the women's bathroom. I know it's "suppose" to be empty, but had previously waved to the camera, and Patrick showed up seconds after, so it screams a complete lack of caution on Travis's character.
If there's anything good that can be said for your script is that it honestly started off interesting. There was a genuine sense of atmosphere and mystery crafted with the events in the motel, but the atmosphere created was completely and utterly destroyed by the time we got to that melodramatic scene in the kitchen around page 21.
Now, as I said, there were many things that contributed to the the sluggish pace aside from the filler, and it was also how the action was written. It's too book-like and not script-like. Too many fancy, superflous descriptions and character actions that have no substance. Action is no exception to the notion that; it too has to add to the meat of the script and not the fat. I can't go too in depth but I'll offer some examples from the first ten pages.
"A mini-van pulls up to a condemned looking, two-story
motel. Dirt flies into the air as the mini-van stops.
Dense woods surround the motel, creating an eerie darkness."
Why is it relavent that dirt's flying in the air? Will this dirt impact the plot? If it's important that he's driving on a gravel road, simply call it such. And the density of the woods is something that's more up to the director. And "eerie darkness" is too vague to be important. Take it out.
"He scans the line of doors on the upper level and spots one
marked “203.” He holds the mini-van door open, takes in a
deep breath, closes the van door, then heads upstairs to
the second floor."
Again, it's already been mentioned how inconsistent this is with the previously established action of "rushing out of the driver's side," but that's not what bothered me. It was the obvious action. If you want to convey the character being nervous, "he takes a deep breath" is good enough. When someone opens the door to an automobile, after exiting, it's common sense they're going to close it. Common actions don't impact the plot, so should be cut out.
"Her pale, ashen skin stands out in contrast where it is
exposed from under her long black dress."
"Frantic, Travis grabs Tara’s legs and tries to lift her off
the ceiling fan, but can’t. He lets her go and her body
Travis realizes he’s too late and starts to break down,
then struggles to calm himself."
Take out the word frantic. If you want to have audience or reader know that the character is frantic, show it specifically through some bodily action. Don't just slap on some vague adjective. And "Travis realizes he's too late" is an internal thought that can't be filmed or shown. How can something as internal as a realization be filmed? Only write what can be seen or heard, and externalize internal thoughts by what can be seen or heard.
"Travis rushes into the mini-van. Gravel from the dirt road
spits everywhere as the van speeds away.
From under the upper stairs of the motel, a dark figure
watches the mini-van disappear."
This can easily be tightened up to
"a figure under the stairs watches Travis rush to the van and drive away."
Look at every set of descriptions and wonder if the same thing can be said in fewer words. If it can be tightened up without losing the meaning, do it.
There was also a description I recall, where the word "white" was mentioned three times. Unless the color of thier clothing is important in some way, take it out.
I understand your want to create flavor and atmosphere. If you want to do this, either place an very, very, very well written description of the setting in the beggining or go al out and do it extremely well. If you can't, placing bland and superflous descriptions like "eerie darkness" will only create unhealthy fat for the script and make reading it a challenge. Be precise and direct.
I'm going stop here. I hope you take the advice of members on this board and wish you all the best of luck upon improving your craft.