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Hayden's Story (currently 1005 views)
Don
Posted: February 22nd, 2012, 5:41pm
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So, what are you writing?
Location Virginia
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Hayden's Story by Brian Allan (Btaylor1484) - Short, Thriller, Drama - An obsessive young author loses the ability to distinguish his real life from his fiction he's created. 12 pages - pdf, format
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CoopBazinga
Posted: February 23rd, 2012, 10:42am
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Location Perth, Australia
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Hey Brian,
I’m sure I’ve seen this one posted before?
Anyway, there are lots of problems straight away for me starting with the title page. Notice a lot of camera directions, awkward descriptions and this:
“Hayden's voice-over begins:” Then going into the voice over dialogue? I’ve never seen this.
Are you around for feedback?
Read some scripts on here, you’ll be amazed at how much you’re learn by just reading other scripts and leaving comments or even asking questions.
Good luck and keep writing.
Steve
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Forgive
Posted: February 23rd, 2012, 4:59pm
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Let The Sky Fall
Location Various, exotic.
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Yeah - I'm pretty sure this has been around before in a different guise - might be wrong though.
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