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You guys know I don't throw out the praise for movies very often, but I'm surprisingly going to do it here on this low budget B Movie which has it's tongue firmly planted in its cheek.
This will not appeal to mainstream film goers. It probably won't appeal to females, unless you...uh...like females.
The 3 female leads are drop dead gorgeous, which is never a bad thing. They are incredibly scantily clad the entire movie, which also isn't a bad thing. And, they kick ass, shoot big guns, work as strippers, and all like a little girl on girl action whenever they can get it.
Our "stars" here are Julia Voth, Erin Cummings, and my favorite of favorite female "stars", America Olivo. The bad news? None get nekkid...but that's actually OK.
For a low budget exploitation flick, it looks incredibly good. I mean, seriously, this thing looks like it cost more than a few Million bucks, but I highly doubt it actually did. There are numerous big set piece scenes that were obviously shot against a green screen, but the look is still good and it really almost comes off like it's supposed to look this way - kind of graphic novel/comic book vibe. The action, violence, and gore are also in this vein, but again, well done and way over the top.
The fight scenes are the highlight here, unless you want to say just watching these babes is the highlight, which it easily could be. The fight choreography (as well as the stunt double work) is done by Zoe Bell, best known for her work on Tarantino's Grindhouse. It's truly awesome here and alot of fun. These chicks, especially Olivo's "Camero" just love to throw down and beat the shit out of anyone nearby.
The film's structure is kind of cool, in that it's put together with lots and lots of flashbacks all labeled as to how long ago it took place. It dos get a little old at times, and many will probably say it's irritating, but, for me, it worked quite well and kept a very small "plot" fresh and going forward.
Now, I've got to be honest here. The film falls on its own ass in the last 10 minutes and I really wish the final 2 flashbacks had been shitcanned, cuz it takes cheese to a whole new smell. First of all, both of these 2 big set piece scenes don't look nearly as good as anything else in the picture and they're just so over the top goofy, it really detracts from the prior 100 minutes.
The dialogue is also so over the top, tongue in cheek, you'll either love it, hate it, or just laugh your ass off - I did all 3, BTW. For what it's meant to be, I found it very effective, actually.
Julia Voth is just stunningly beautiful. America Olivo is what i envision the perfect girl to look like. They run around in very, very sexy outfits, kick ass, curse like sailors, and love a little tongue play with each other. What more could one look for in a film?
If you're a guy or girl who likes girls, you can do much worse with 109 minutes of your time. Check it out and fall in love with these two.
I totally am THAT guy. Yet, I still couldn't sit through ten minutes of this crap. It literally took five minutes for three pairs of tits to exit that car in the opening... And then they spoke.
I'm gonna have to check it out during my writing intermission today. All this talk. I'm pretty open ....but if I fall asleep during the first 10...bad sign....
Afraid I'm with the mob on this one. Ten minutes in I knew I was dealing with grade Z schlock. I'm so tired of these cheapo CG fests. CG blood and muzzle flashes drive me nuts. Especially when an actor barely bothers to act out the recoil. This makes Machete look like a masterpiece. A shame. I wanted to like this film.
E.D.
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I watched the first 15. I'll give you this, Jeff: the girls are hot, and if you're in the right mood, you can find amusement in the dialogue. It's meant to be over the top, and I think the writer has some talent.
Question: when the girl crushes the guy's hand in the truck, and then walks away, why does he leave his hand in the trunk? Only to have the other girl sit on it? Doesn't matter, it was just a curious thing.
You guys are killing me! Seriously...frickin' hilarious!
Hey, listen, guys and gals. If you gave up after only 10 or 15 minutes, you gave up too early. But then again, if you literally hated the first 10 or 15, what can I say?
Here's the funny thing...I've got 135 flicks in my Netflix que and about 30 on my Direct TV DVR. I've been sick since Thursday night, so not much to do for this lonely old perv over the weekend. I watched a few minutes of this piece of shit and a few minutes of that pile of dung, quickly deleting them and moving forward.
When I got to this one, I was impressed and quickly realized that in no way was it to be taken remotely seriously. The girls put me under a spell with their eyes...OK...and their breasts (I don't remember the slo-mo of their feet, Pia, but maybe their feet did something for me as well ).
As DTV's go, this is a number of steps ahead of the pack in every way, including the writing and acting. There's creativity here. There's imagination here. There are babes here that should visit me in Cave Creek, AZ. In fact, I think America Olivo should immediately divorce her actor husband, Christian Campbell (Neve Campbell's bro), and move in with me. Yeah, I'm a little older than she is and in alot worse shape, but I've got 2 really cute cats that may impress her. You never know...or do we? OK, maybe we do know in this case.
Anyways, I tried to watch several more DTV's on Netflix last night and was amazed how terrible they were, and thought back to this one that everyone is trashing...and actually trashing it for all the wrong reasons.
For instance, I started watching Love Her Madly from 2000, which is written and directed by Ray Manzarek, based on a story by Jim Morrison. Hopefully, peeps know who these dudes are. This thing is a steaming pile of some of the stinkiest shit I've ever seen. It "looks" awful. The acting is abysmal. It opens with a completely unnecessary nude shower scene. And you know what? The IMDB rating is higher than Bitch Slap! WTF?
Maybe it's me. Maybe I don't get it. But you know what? If that's the case, I don't want to get it.
The feet is an obvious QT wanna be thing. He has feet in every single film of his.
Are you referring to the split screen shots of someone getting out of a car or the like? Showing their boots or whatever they're wearing over their feet?
I thought you were talking about slo-mo's of their bare feet. HaHa. Funny. OK, at least I now know something - it wasn't the shots of their feet that cast a spell over me.
At about the 3/4 mark, there's a 5 minute slo-mo scene in which the 3 talented actresses douse themselves in an endless supply of water, because they're hot...as in hot from being in the desert heat all this time.
I'm sure you'd all love this very necessary plot scene.
All I can think of is girls, foot fetish and jeff's empty bottle of jager next to him on the couch while he drools over this movie!!!!!
You'll love it Dena!
No foot fetish here, and since it was Saturday afternoon and I wasn't feeling well, no Jager was being consumed. And, BTW, my bottle of Jagie is still not empty, and it's been going strong since 8/3.
Had a look at the trailer . . . oh dear! This might be worth a look for a laugh. I dunno about the drop dead gorgeous. I'm not saying they're ugly by any means, but one of them just looks a little androgyous and the slutty look is just a turn off. Fake tits just don't do for me either, I prefer my silicone in the form of a computer . . .
OMG laughin my ass off ....at the water scene now...where oh it's so hot and then there are coolers and buckets of water...."you might wanna cover up" Oh lord..this is classic crap Jeff sorry...
Those aren't even real girls are they? Surely they are computer generated! LOL I couldn't find one real part on them...not even their feet!!!!! LOL
Still watchin though....lol Afternoon of rest! and Laughs.