All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Aiding The Enemy by Peg Tittle - Short - Aiding the Enemy (short drama 15min) - When Private Ann Jones faces execution for “aiding the enemy,” she points to American weapons manufacturers who sell to whatever country is in the market. 12 pages - pdf, format
The script reads fairly well. One thing I noticed is that all the people you tried to intro in that first paragraph ..most of them could be eliminated by a description of them as a whole. Since most of them are not speaking, and we don't learn more about them, it is confusing to the reader ...who may think they will have to remember all of those names.
The story was pretty good. I feel like the end could've been done differently. I usually don't like flashbacks, but you used them well here and it provided a clear visual of what took place that got your main to this predicament.
I'm going to hold back most of my in-depth comments for now, until you make an appearance.
What I will say is, this... I did like this. I appreciate what you were going for with the story. It's a sensitive topic and I thought you handled it without too many graphic scenes. You didn't overkill the rape parts.
The writing needs quite a bit of work. It's way overwritten in some places. As for the dialogue, good. You seem to have a clear understanding of how conversations work and you managed to avoid awkward lines.
I have more, but I'll share if/when you make an appearance on the boards. Just send a pm