SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
Welcome, Guest.
It is August 20th, 2019, 4:30pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship

Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration
The Beginners Guide to the SimplyScripts Discussion Board (WIP)

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the and domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Aiding The Enemy Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 3 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Aiding The Enemy  (currently 1025 views)
Posted: August 24th, 2012, 2:35pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

Posts Per Day
Aiding The Enemy by Peg Tittle - Short - Aiding the Enemy (short drama 15min) - When Private Ann Jones faces execution for “aiding the enemy,” she points to American weapons manufacturers who sell to whatever country is in the market.  12 pages - pdf, format

Visit for what is new on the site.

You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Site Private Message
pale yellow
Posted: August 24th, 2012, 9:09pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer

Jacksonville FL
Posts Per Day
Took a look at this.

The log needs some work IMO.

The script reads fairly well. One thing I noticed is that all the people you tried to intro in that first paragraph ..most of them could be eliminated by a description of them as a whole. Since most of them are not speaking, and we don't learn more about them, it is confusing to the reader ...who may think they will have to remember all of those names.

The story was pretty good. I feel like the end could've been done differently. I usually don't like flashbacks, but you used them well here and it provided a clear visual of what took place that got your main to this predicament.

Decent little story here. Enjoyed the read.


Private Message Reply: 1 - 2
Posted: August 27th, 2012, 12:19am Report to Moderator

Invercargill, New Zealand
Posts Per Day
Hey Peg,

I'm going to hold back most of my in-depth comments for now, until you make an appearance.

What I will say is, this... I did like this. I appreciate what you were going for with the story. It's a sensitive topic and I thought you handled it without too many graphic scenes. You didn't overkill the rape parts.

The writing needs quite a bit of work. It's way overwritten in some places. As for the dialogue, good. You seem to have a clear understanding of how conversations work and you managed to avoid awkward lines.

I have more, but I'll share if/when you make an appearance on the boards. Just send a pm


Private Message Reply: 2 - 2
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on

Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006