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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  The Surprising Adventures of the Super Splendid...
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  Author    The Surprising Adventures of the Super Splendid...  (currently 1105 views)
Don
Posted: December 21st, 2016, 6:51pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Surprising Adventures of the Super Splendid Four by Anthony Hudson (alffy) - Short, Comedy - The Comic Strip Presents...Four friends reunite for the holidays and get embroiled in an adventure to prevent a madman taking over the world. 21 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  December 31st, 2016, 4:53pm
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PrussianMosby
Posted: January 3rd, 2017, 1:44pm Report to Moderator
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Quite a long one but I gave it a chance and liked it pretty much.

I love such kind of intelligent trash comedy if I may say so.

This reads as a charming mix of Mike Myers stuff, That 70s Show and Scooby Doo.

It could be a nice, self-ironic, low-budget mini-web series. I would definitely watch that thing.



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alffy
Posted: January 3rd, 2017, 4:54pm Report to Moderator
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Cheers PrussianMosby.

I don't know if you're aware of the Comic Strip but if you liked this you should check it out.  There are a lot of episodes, some better than others, but they're very funny.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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Simon
Posted: January 7th, 2017, 7:33am Report to Moderator
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The story was reasonably entertaining, but I thought it was anticlimactic. There was all this action and talk of explosions, then it just fizzles out. The juvenile humour based on dicks and fannies has been done many times before, and you keep repeating the same kinds of jokes over and over. I also thought your script got off to a bad start, as it came across as silly to me. I guess it's just not my kind of humour, Mosby seemed to like it.


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alffy
Posted: January 8th, 2017, 11:29am Report to Moderator
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Hey Simon, cheers for the read and your thoughts.  I know this wont be for everyone, in fact it will almost definitely be a miss for the majority, but I really wanted a crack at a silly 'comic strip' style caper, and this was it.  Juvenile it is but that's what I was aiming for lol.
Cheers again for taking the time to read this.


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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stebrown
Posted: February 13th, 2017, 3:43pm Report to Moderator
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Hi Alffy,

I've only seen a couple of the comic strip episodes but this certainly had the right feel (ooh err) and sense of humour. It makes me want to watch more actually. I read most of the male lines in Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson's voices.

This was a very quick read and it was funny - which I'm guessing was the main aim. There were a few typos, only four or five that I spotted, but it could do with another proof read.

Not a lot more to say because I did enjoy it and found it funny - I think you hit the mark with what you wanted to do. Cheers for the fun read.

Ste


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alffy
Posted: February 14th, 2017, 2:41pm Report to Moderator
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Cheers Ste.  This is definitely for those have some knowledge of the comic strip or it will simply go down as being stupid lol.  I'm glad you heard Rik and Ade, that makes me feel good.  They're my two comic idols...well were.  Still can't believe Rik Mayall is dead


Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.

You can find my scripts here
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