SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
Welcome, Guest.
It is August 21st, 2019, 10:05am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship

Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration
The Beginners Guide to the SimplyScripts Discussion Board (WIP)

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the and domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Horror  ›  Blood Highway
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Blood Highway  (currently 696 views)
Posted: July 12th, 2017, 7:13pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

Posts Per Day
Blood Highway by Joseph Ulloa - Short, Horror - On a lone highway one man discovers fate can take a nasty turn in a blink of a moment. 12 pages - pdf, format

New writer interested in feedback on this work

Visit for what is new on the site.

You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Site Private Message
Tyler King
Posted: July 12th, 2017, 10:03pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while

Posts Per Day
Hmm... the overall story was pretty good, but there were quite a few grammatical/formatting errors that made the read pretty distracting. I would've (or had someone else) proofread it beforehand. And the dialogue was kind of cheesy in some spots. Also, is this supposed to be a horror? Felt more like it should belong in the thriller category. Also, the ending was alright, I see what you were trying to do, but I felt it was a little predictable with the way you portrayed "John Doe" and his reactions i.e. being calm about the whole ordeal. I hate to be a nagger, just trying to help a fellow screenwriter out... Overall though it was a pretty good effort.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 2
Posted: July 18th, 2017, 11:47am Report to Moderator
Been around a while

Giving up is not an option....

Kiwi in Ohio
Posts Per Day
Hi Joseph,

I agree with Tyler's comments. i thought it had a nice twist.

"John doe looks back over towards the beat-up 1970s blue
Cutlass convertible at Trace and smiles."

You don't need to write the description of the car again.

Good, well that prick told me the
when’s and the where’s and also the
Like how I was going to be paid
hundred grand for this fucker.

This is the wrong formatting for dialogue. If the actor is speaking everything they say up to the point of an action line or another person speaking comes under the one character name. This is the correct formatting.

Good, well that prick told me the
when’s and the where’s and also the
how’s. Like how I was going to be paid
hundred grand for this fucker.

This is a good effort, keeping reading, writing and learning....

"Turn that off, our friend has just been killed in a fatal sunlight accident!"....

'What we do in the Shadows.'
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 2
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Horror  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on

Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006