Issues right out of the shoot.
EXT. MARKET PLACE - DUSK
(People talking) Shoppers hustling along the sidewalk of the
busy market district. VIVIAN, 22 years old counts the
receipts at the counter. JENNY, 19 years old sweeps up the
trash. Momma sits close to the exit as Chow escorts the last
customer out the door.
- Scene heading needs a little more than market place
- What is with the parenthesis???
- Momma should be CAPPED and intro'd as a character
- Don;t need "years old". Just state their age - e.g., (19)
OK, we see you tomorrow. selamat
Malam (Good night)
More parenthesis in the dialogue.
CHOW LEE BONAFIDE, 72 years old and his wife MOMMA BONAFIDE,
70 years old, are successful business owners in Kuala Lumpur,
Last sentence entirely unfilmable.
So - I'm sorry - but this needs work. Not ready yet.