SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
Welcome, Guest.
It is May 26th, 2019, 5:18pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship

Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration
The Writers' Tournament is back...

The Beginners Guide to the SimplyScripts Discussion Board (WIP)

Yes, I am running script reviews, again...

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the and domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  Vivan Bonafide Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
AdSense and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Vivan Bonafide  (currently 273 views)
Posted: October 1st, 2017, 6:01pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

Posts Per Day
Vivian Bonafide by Dave Nelson - Drama - Two young girls which in horror as their parents are murdered in cold blood. They vow revenge by any means necessary. 87 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Visit for what is new on the site.

You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Site Private Message
Posted: October 1st, 2017, 7:08pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients

Southern California
Posts Per Day
Issues right out of the shoot.

Quoted Text

(People talking) Shoppers hustling along the sidewalk of the
busy market district. VIVIAN, 22 years old counts the
receipts at the counter. JENNY, 19 years old sweeps up the
trash. Momma sits close to the exit as Chow escorts the last
customer out the door.

- Scene heading needs a little more than market place
- What is with the parenthesis???
- Momma should be CAPPED and intro'd as a character
- Don;t need "years old". Just state their age - e.g., (19)

Quoted Text
OK, we see you tomorrow. selamat
Malam (Good night)

More parenthesis in the dialogue.  

Quoted Text
CHOW LEE BONAFIDE, 72 years old and his wife MOMMA BONAFIDE,
70 years old, are successful business owners in Kuala Lumpur,

Last sentence entirely unfilmable.

So - I'm sorry - but this needs work. Not ready yet.

My Scripts can all be seen here:
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 1
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Drama Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on

Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006