 Pages: 1 |
 Author |
 Bob's Burgers: The Space Next Door (currently 299 views) |
| Don |
| Posted: November 17th, 2018, 3:00pm |
 |
|
AdministratorAdministrator  So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts13206 Posts Per Day 1.95 |
Bob's Burgers: The Space Next Door by Clark Ratliff - Series, Comedy - When Bob considers expanding, it is without his family. 36 pages - pdf format New writer interested in feedback on this work |
| Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.
-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
|
|
 Logged |
|
|
|
|
|
| eldave1 |
| Posted: November 18th, 2018, 11:50am |
|
|
Of The Ancients 
LocationSouthern California Posts4835 Posts Per Day 2.62 |
Clark - you're not adhering to the most basic format/rules. Just from the first 1/4 of the opening page.
Quoted Text From opening credits a van and two men get out to take
the sign off the space next door.
|
You need a scene heading. MEN should be capped and some description would be good.
Quoted Text INT. BOB’S BURGERS |
Need DAY or NIGHT at the and of the header. Some description of this place needed.
Quoted Text Linda has her face pressed up against their store window
looking next door.
|
Character intros need to be CAPPED - character needs an age/description. Real basic stuff - read a few scripts. Google a bit (e.g., scene headings) |
| |
|
|
|
 |
Reply: 1 - 5 |
|
|
| Clark |
| Posted: November 18th, 2018, 11:51pm |
|
|
Posts23 Posts Per Day 0.04 |
Thanks. I'm still trying to learn all the correct ways. My hopes in posting is to find a collaborator. I have an alphabet of learning disabilities to where I may never be perfect, so I'm hoping to find someone who 'completes me'. This work is what I would bring to the table and hopefully the right person can take what I have and help me shape it to be right. I'm open to feed back and the overall if you like it or not with warts and all so to speak. |
|
|
|
|
Reply: 2 - 5 |
|
|
| Clark |
| Posted: November 19th, 2018, 12:09am |
|
|
Posts23 Posts Per Day 0.04 |
Also, I'm working on a Fantastic Four script. I know we can't post here till it's done. I'd love a chance to share it with anyone and get feedback and a read. Does anyone know of sites you can post unfinished works? I knew of a couple a few years ago but they seem to have ended. |
|
|
|
|
Reply: 3 - 5 |
|
|
| eldave1 |
| Posted: November 19th, 2018, 1:10pm |
|
|
Of The Ancients
LocationSouthern California Posts4835 Posts Per Day 2.62 |
Also, I'm working on a Fantastic Four script. I know we can't post here till it's done. I'd love a chance to share it with anyone and get feedback and a read. Does anyone know of sites you can post unfinished works? I knew of a couple a few years ago but they seem to have ended. |
I am not aware of any sites that serve that purpose. You may find some valuable information in the screenwriting class thread on this board. |
| |
|
|
|
|
Reply: 4 - 5 |
|
|
| Warren |
| Posted: November 19th, 2018, 3:26pm |
|
|
Old Timer 
LocationSydney, Australia Posts2621 Posts Per Day 2.23 |
Also, I'm working on a Fantastic Four script. I know we can't post here till it's done. I'd love a chance to share it with anyone and get feedback and a read. Does anyone know of sites you can post unfinished works? I knew of a couple a few years ago but they seem to have ended. |
You can post it here in the Work in Progess section. |
| |
|
| Logged |
|
|
|
Reply: 5 - 5 |
|
Pages: 1 |
Locked Board