SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is July 19th, 2019, 8:35am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration
Final Standings

Round Five (5) Standings Posted




Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Horror Scripts  ›  A Residual Haunting Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 3 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    A Residual Haunting  (currently 162 views)
Don
Posted: April 15th, 2019, 11:42am Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
13139
Posts Per Day
1.95
A Residual Haunting by Roberto Negron - Horror - A dysfunctional married couple end up getting tormented and picked on by the spirit of their estranged son who is still alive. 112 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.


-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  July 7th, 2019, 12:14pm
revised draft
Logged
Site Private Message
Busy Little Bee
Posted: June 28th, 2019, 6:07pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while



Location
San Antonio, TX
Posts
326
Posts Per Day
0.07
Hey, Roberto

Descriptive protag(s) in a logline is always good. The second half reads awakward. It's in the passive voice. Also, I'm not sure how quickly they find out the spirit is their son who turns out to be alive, but it sounds like a sizable revelation that may be better suited for just the script and just hinted at in the logline, unless there are more/bigger revelations to come.

I'll give the firs ten a look and see where it takes me.

BLB


Commodus: But the Emperor Claudius knew that they were up to something. He knew they were busy little bees. And one night he sat down with one of them and he looked at her and he said, "Tell me what you have been doing, busy little bee..."
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 1
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Horror Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006