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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Horror  ›  The House of Skin and Bone
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  Author    The House of Skin and Bone  (currently 179 views)
Don
Posted: May 10th, 2019, 4:59pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The House of Skin and Bone by Mike W. Rogers - Short, Horror - When a platoon of Marines burn a shack built from human bones to the ground, they will have till sunrise to rebuild the house or die gruesome deaths from a witches curse. 20 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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stevemiles
Posted: May 12th, 2019, 8:27am Report to Moderator
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Mike,

I took a look at this.  I'm on board with the idea - horror works well against the backdrop of Vietnam and the oppressive jungle setting.  Bold choice for a short given the budget you'd need to pull it off.  Is this testing the waters for a feature or if this is it?  Wondering before posting further.

Steve


My short scripts can be found here on my new & improved budget website:


http://stevemiles80.wixsite.com/sjmilesscripts
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Dreamscale
Posted: May 12th, 2019, 10:12am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

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Please reread your logline and fix the mistakes.

I won't even open this up, based on the logline, as have a pretty good idea how riddled with errors the actual script will be.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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Arundel
Posted: May 14th, 2019, 8:23pm Report to Moderator
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Reminded me of a gonzo-style Asian horror film. Liked all the characters. Named well. Based on any existing legend?  
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eldave1
Posted: May 14th, 2019, 8:31pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients



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I think this is a pretty solid effort - not my normal cup of tea - but twas a nice fast pace.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Penoyer79
Posted: May 15th, 2019, 1:16am Report to Moderator
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Chaos isn't a pit, it's a ladder.

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It ended how i figured it would after the first few pages. So I think predictability is your weakness here.
To me the story needs to lead to something else... a twist or a hookline... the build up to a well designed and carefully woven bombshell to bring it all together.

just my opinion


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