I enjoyed the premise and the script But there were some very frequent grammatical errors in this, including the overuse of capitals, which made the piece a bit frustrating to read in places.
Not sure if the interlude with the friend in the shady neighbourhood added anything to the script.
Some redundant actions like: "He doesn’t know WHAT to say."... and: "pulls out the bedazzled cellphone he got from Larry"
Good luck with it. CB