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The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.
NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressedwrittenpermission of the author.
Your Face is Killing Me by Jason K. Allen - Short, Comedy, Romantic Comedy - A shallow young man decides to break up with his beautiful, kindhearted girlfriend because of her occasional unattractive facial expression. 4 pages - pdf format
For production consideration - No comments required
I really liked this -- drew comparisons to Seinfeld stuff -- the "Man Hands" episode and the episode where Jerry's date interest looks attractive only w/ the right lighting. Also, "Shallow Hal" with Jason Alexander's character focusing on his ridiculously hot girlfriend's weird toe.
Now, at first I thought this was a bit superficial -- your male lead is very superficial. But it felt a little misogynistic. Though, when everything came around with your lead, I was satisfied. He got what he deserved and was (SPOILER ALERT) dumped for the same exact reason he was thinking about dumping his girlfriend.
I do think the dialogue could've been more creative and naturalistic, specifically at the beginning between the two dudes. As is, the dialogue is just pretty much only there to push narrative. I think you can get some better laughs with some solid one-liners/jokes en route to the punchline.
This one says Jason doesn't require comments - For Production Consideration only.
I think Zack was going to email Jason with regard to the same issue i.e., becoming active on the boards etc.
I saw another of Jason's scripts where it said he welcomed comments so Michael, I'll leave your comments up for a while until otherwise clarified by Don, or Jason himself.
Yeah, I saw another one of his scripts up, said it was open for feedback. Guess I just saw the author's name and assumed they wanted feedback for this one, too.